A list of puns related to "Lying"
I just made that up
I can tell when they're standing too.
It was off its face
Intrigued, the man decided to warn the person and said "hey, you have a banana shoved in your ear".
The person replied "what?"
> "You have a banana shoved in your ear!"
> "WHAT??"
> "YOU HAVE A BANANA SHOVED IN YOUR EAR!!"
> "SIR PLEASE SPEAK LOUDER I CAN'T HEAR YOU 'CAUSE I HAVE A BANANA SHOVED IN MY EAR!.
Sealion
It was hard for him to see the truth
Theyβre neither sitting nor standing!
Itβs easy. You can see right through them.
I could see right through him.
What, the actual Fuck.
"I'm measuring your patience!"
It was feeling a bit ruggish
Heβs Jack in the box.
A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
I hadnβt the foggiest idea what I mist.
Look at me now, saving lives!
We have always been such a happy couple and everything was fine for 3 years straight. Of course I always felt comfortable in front of her and felt like I can tell her anything. That's where I was wrong.
A few months ago I noticed that she became annoyed by my dumb jokes that were only funny to me, but that just made it even funnier to me so I continued telling all these dad jokes to her and died laughing every time.
She puts up with it because she loves me. At least I thought so.
We were always 100% honest with each other and I'm still shaken by the things she told me today.
I sent her probably one of my worst dad jokes ever (that I stole from reddit), and she just couldn't take it anymore and told me how stupid my jokes are and that she doesn't know if she'll be able to put up with it much longer.
But that's not the worst part, I actually appreciated her honesty and considered the possibility to stop with all the stupid jokes and become more serious in the relationship.
The worst part is that she lied to me for the first time in all these years. I felt like I just couldn't trust her anymore and everything I thought I knew about her as a person just became questionable. I need your advice on how to react to this huge lie...
She told me she's Sorry, but I know for a FACT that her name is Diane.
One says, βWeβre saved! We can ask him for directions!β His friend, however, had a somber expression on his face.
βDoesnβt something seem off to you about this man?β he replies, gesturing to the figure lying prostrate on the road before them.
βWhat do you mean?β said the first, confusion splayed across his features.
βI mean we canβt trust a thing he says. Heβs a pathological lier.β
AntiHistoryMemes
.......Over my shoulder!!!
Matt.
. . . and then it struck me.
They can never make a straight face.
I have to level with them
Russle.
The man says, βItβs not a lion itβs a giraffeβ
chequemates ;)
He calls his son and says he wanted to tell him something for a long time.
Son Ant : What is it dad?
Father Ant : I cannot say that in this god forbidden country we have to move immediately to France or Italy before i am dead.
Confused,the Son Ant made arrangements to move to France.They boarded a spy ship which took them to south Korea.From there they boarded a flight to France.With great difficulty they finally reached France.The father ant's health became worse.The son ant was thinking what was so important that they had to move to another country, So when they settled in their new home he finally asked..
Son Ant : Dad, We are in France now you can tell whatever you were going to tell me. The Father could not speak up so he signaled his son to come closer.The son did.
Father Ant: Son, We are now Europeants.
I can also tell when they're standing.
I can also tell when they are standing or sitting too.
I can tell when theyβre standing too.
I can also tell when they're standing.
I can also tell if theyβre standing.
I can also tell when they're standing.
EDIT: from https://jokeriot.com
Matt.
Matt
Matt.
I can tell if theyβre standing too.
i can see through him
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