Why do cops only use Uber and Lyft?

They dont want to call for A-CAB.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Useless-Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Turns out our Lyft driver is a sheepherder

He said he'll be here in two shakes of a lamb's tailpipe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zatch17
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Why is Uber/Lyft the worst business model?

They drive all their customers away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Me-Smart
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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My best friend has been a Lyft driver for 4 years and hasn’t gotten one single ride

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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My Lyft driver tonight

He was complaining about how his son's girlfriend always comes over and just sits on the phone the whole time. So he asks her one day, "do you come here to visit your phone or do you come here to visit us?" I could only imagine the eye roll.

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πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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Lyft driver dad joked me

An elderly woman is pushing a cart up the middle of the road in downtown San Francisco (not uncommon). The driver carefully, but easily, avoids her. I comment she's really staked a claim to the road. He replied "she's grandmothered in."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Likely_not_Eric
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2014
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Why do Uber drivers skip the gym ?

Because they don't even Lyft

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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My friend asked me for a ride to the store today.

I said β€œBro, do you even Lyft?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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I once knew a guy who drove me around places, and oddly enough he always kept 4 shoes in his car for emergencies.

He was my shoe-four.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/00feyOwch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Just got given one star from my uber driver

All I said was, "thanks for the lyft"

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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What’s one of the quickest ways to make it to a bodybuilding competition?

Lyft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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Whiskey and rum so are no longer allowed on Uber rides

You can only Lyft your spirits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/americangame
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Why doesn't Thor like using Uber ?

Because he Lyft's.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roccodai1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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