Uber Puns

Apparently they didn't like it when I went the extra mile.

I guess I was the pile driver

He worked 3 weeks and nothing to chauffeur it.

He said to pho-get it.

I really hope his driving doesn't get me into a pickle

They dont want to call for A-CAB.

Because they don't even Lyft

I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn't know what else to say...

So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to the bar. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged.

She smiled at me and said, "That's a shame, you really caught my eye."

I gave the driver one star. He drove my parents to divorce.

She drove me to drink.

Über

To which I replied: “tell me about it. I’ve been with her for 20 years.”

One's a tax evader, the other is a taxi Vader

Driver: "So Resetspls, if I ask you how many seconds are in a year, with out your phone or any calculator, could you tell me

"Honestly no."

Driver: "12"

"Uhhhh...."

Driver: "Can I do the math"

"Of course, please"

Driver: " January 2nd, February 2nd...."

I said, “Please turn left.”

They’re always trying to pick me up..

His ride is 9 bucks.

They drive all their customers away.

You can only Lyft your spirits.

All I said was, "thanks for the lyft"

He said, "OK. You're an Uber."

Because he Lyft's.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

...

"Bison."

Driving them back to their house, he points over at a business and says to her "Maybe I should work for that company there?

She looks over and asks "Amscot?"

To which he replies "Yeah, I am Scot."

I laughed out loud.

Uber Eats.

You're an uber.