I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the lettering’s all faded.
I’m not sure whether it’s 2B or not 2B.
To all the members of this subreddit, an open letter:
I have this pathological fear of two letter words.
I get terrified just thinking about it.
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You’d think it’d be R, but it be the C!
What’s a 4 letter for a woman ending with “unt”?
What do you call an apology letter written in dots and dashes?
Why did NASA use numbers instead of letters for the Apollo series?
Because if Apollo-F crashed, they’d have to make an Apollo-G.
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN
What starts with an "e" and ends with an "e" with a letter in it?
My girlfriend told me that a very thick letter had arrived for me.
I replied, 'of course it's thick. Envelopes and pieces of paper do not tend to have a very high IQ'.
Me: I am terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: [Screams in horror]
Therapist: Oh, I see
Me: [Screams intensify]
Why did only one letter of the alphabet get a Christmas present?
What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it
My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding...
She got mad and said she's never playing scrabble with me again
The password is password1. It requires letters AND numbers.
Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, occasionally has 12 letters, always has 6 letters, and never has 5 letters.
But nothing tops a cheese pizza.
Me: What is the first letter of the word “yellow?”
Kid: Y
Me: Coz I want to know.
What has four letters?
That’s all. I was just letting you know.
I quit my job as a postman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.
I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
He likes the "r", but he loves the "c"!
I’ve just received another rejection letter from a publisher regarding my autobiography.
That’s the story of my life
Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?
Just look at that escargo.
What’s the coolest letter?
“B” cause it’s surrounded by A/C.
How did mouses open old letters?
What’s the hottest letter in the alphabet?
‘B’, because it makes oil boil.
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
What’s a clones favorite letter?
A man recently ran up to me announcing that he was a primary color, then instructed me to perform a modern dance trend on the fourth letter of the alphabet and food coloring.
He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".
What's the difference between Mordor and the Capital?
One does not simply walk into Mordor
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
What do you call a German letter
What's a pirates least favourite letter?
Dear Sir,
this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy.
What is long, rigid, flexible and has the letters p,e,n,I,s?
How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
This summer when I dug potatoes from my garden, they all were shaped like a letter from the alphabet...
I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.
If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language
Did you hear that they're replacing two letters of the alphabet? Instead of T, you have to say "Clowns". Instead of V, you need to say "Jokers". I refuse to use them, but I was singing the alphabet when they changed them, so I have a problem...
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.
What's a pirates favourite letter ?
'P' Without P he'd be 'irate'
At first there were only 25 letters
What letter holds the most water?
C.
(My eight-year-old just told me this and got me.)
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN
Some people think a pirates favourite letter is R
If you see the second letter of the alphabet
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