I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the lettering’s all faded.

I’m not sure whether it’s 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matthew2112
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
To all the members of this subreddit, an open letter:

C

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baltinerdist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I have this pathological fear of two letter words.

I get terrified just thinking about it.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

You’d think it’d be R, but it be the C!

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arsenaldavis10
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a 4 letter for a woman ending with β€œunt”?

Aunt

πŸ‘︎ 234
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaymanRich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an apology letter written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.

πŸ‘︎ 330
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LoganWren
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did NASA use numbers instead of letters for the Apollo series?

Because if Apollo-F crashed, they’d have to make an Apollo-G.

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colevanders
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN

You get them VERY ANGRY

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What starts with an "e" and ends with an "e" with a letter in it?

Envolope

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kkshitij4_exe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend told me that a very thick letter had arrived for me.

I replied, 'of course it's thick. Envelopes and pieces of paper do not tend to have a very high IQ'.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Me: I am terrified of random letters

Therapist: You are?

Me: [Screams in horror]

Therapist: Oh, I see

Me: [Screams intensify]

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sync_shark
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did only one letter of the alphabet get a Christmas present?

The rest were not E

πŸ‘︎ 202
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/veknilero
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it

Post office

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzecian007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding...

She got mad and said she's never playing scrabble with me again

πŸ‘︎ 23k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/User1N23456
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The password is password1. It requires letters AND numbers.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sk0503
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?

Hustle, Sleuth.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?

Golf.

πŸ‘︎ 756
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, occasionally has 12 letters, always has 6 letters, and never has 5 letters.

But nothing tops a cheese pizza.

πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JustAnIdea3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: What is the first letter of the word β€œyellow?”

Kid: Y

Me: Coz I want to know.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/percy___potter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What has four letters?

That’s all. I was just letting you know.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/metapede
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a postman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought, β€œThis isn’t for me.”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a pirate's favorite letter?

He likes the "r", but he loves the "c"!

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrassOrchidBlades
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve just received another rejection letter from a publisher regarding my autobiography.

That’s the story of my life

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?

Just look at that escargo.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the coolest letter?

β€œB” cause it’s surrounded by A/C.

πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TugBoatAugust
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How did mouses open old letters?

They scrolled.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manzff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the hottest letter in the alphabet?

β€˜B’, because it makes oil boil.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DantheMan350V2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

Short.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a clones favorite letter?

W

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SalmonFormula27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A man recently ran up to me announcing that he was a primary color, then instructed me to perform a modern dance trend on the fourth letter of the alphabet and food coloring.

He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Mordor and the Capital?

One does not simply walk into Mordor

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.

I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.

πŸ‘︎ 333
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a German letter

Not Z

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mlegstrong
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a pirates least favourite letter?

Dear Sir,

this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What is long, rigid, flexible and has the letters p,e,n,I,s?

Spine.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
  1. There's no L!
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beard_sniffer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
This summer when I dug potatoes from my garden, they all were shaped like a letter from the alphabet...

They were U-tubers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.

If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"

I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language

I don’t know why.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that they're replacing two letters of the alphabet? Instead of T, you have to say "Clowns". Instead of V, you need to say "Jokers". I refuse to use them, but I was singing the alphabet when they changed them, so I have a problem...

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a pirates favourite letter ?

'P' Without P he'd be 'irate'

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
At first there were only 25 letters

No one knew why

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PokeCoyote10
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What letter holds the most water?

C.

(My eight-year-old just told me this and got me.)

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rossumcapek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN

They get really upset.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuaggaSwagger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Some people think a pirates favourite letter is R

But it be the C!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeersForSmarch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
If you see the second letter of the alphabet

Letter B

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gilberto2005
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report

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