Thought up this one all on my own and I'm proud of it: Did you hear the joke about the leg?
In my opinion, it wasn't very fu-knee.
Remember to lift your left leg up off the ground during the New Years countdown
So you can start the New Year off on the right foot
Edit: Thanks for the silver
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident, the man yelled "DOCTOR! DOCTOR, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"
The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."
Make sure that your left leg is up before the clock hits midnight tomorrow.
That way you start 2021 on the right foot.
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
A guy wakes up in hospital and screams, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs."
Doctor replies, "Of course not, I've cut off your arms."
My cat came up to me and meowed imploringly then started massaging my leg with its paws...
If I ever lose my leg in an accident, don’t think I’m lining up a proposal
I’m just always down on one knee
Why do flamingos sleep with only one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall
A bloke wakes up in hospital after an operation and shouts "Doctor I cant feel my legs"
The doctor said i know we chopped your arms off.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures that you end up in the cast.
What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do by raising one leg?
How did the gingerbread man wind up with one leg?
He lost the other in Nom.
A British man decided to pick up a hitchhiker with no arms, 1 leg and 3 heads.
He says: " 'ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, hop in!"
A baker’s son wakes up in the hospital with no legs.
The father asked him if he was feeling sad.
The boy said no I deserved this I got too into the breadmaking and lost my cool.
The man sat back in his chair perplexed even more.
He asked him ok but why did you need them?
The boy looked confused.
Everyone needs them, to walk to run and to play.
No but why the fuck did you knead them?
A guy wakes up from surgery. "How'd it go, Doc?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that we amputated the wrong leg...
The good news is that your other leg is all better."
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time
I always balance on one leg after I wake up
That way my day starts off on the right foot
This made me chuckle. I always say as long as my legs are spry and my brain is working, I can pick up extra shifts.
To the EM who told me not to sew up your child's leg: Suture Self
Lift your left leg up for 30 seconds when it's 11:59:45 tonight.
That way you will start 2019 off on the right foot.
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling some really excellent jokes. I turned to the local tribesman and said "that lizard is really funny!" The tribesman replied "that's not a lizard... he's a stand up chameleon"
Shout out to my legs who are always there to pick me up when I'm down.
Every year on New Year's Eve, when everyone's counting down the final 10 seconds to ring in the new year, I get up off the couch and stand up. I stand up and raise my left leg and just leave it raised for a little while until the countdown finishes and midnight strikes
that way I always start the new year off on the right foot
I found out why flamingos stand with one leg pulled up.
If they pulled up both legs they would fall over.
Why do baseball players pcik up one leg to throw the ball?
If they pick up both, they'd fall on their butt.
Was Visiting my Sister in the hospital. Told her I was finally getting a "Leg up in the world"
(https://imgur.com/a/gDxjp)
Just before midnight tonight, I’ll lift up my left leg.
That way, I can start the new year on the right foot.
A man woke up in a hospital after a terrible accident. He shouted, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replied, “I know. I amputated your arms!”
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up they would fall over
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they had both legs up they would fall over!
Why does a flamingo sleep with one leg up?
Because if it slept with both legs up, it'll fall over.
a man woke up after a serious accident and he said “I can’t feel my legs!!”
the doctor said “I know you can’t, i’ve cut off your arms!
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replied, “I know you can’t I’ve cut off your arms!”
Why do flamingos stand with one leg up?
If both were up, they'd fall down.
Lift your left leg up for over a minute when it's 11:59:30 tonight
That way you start 2018 off on the right foot!
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
:Because if they slept with two up they would fall over.
Every year during the New Year's count down, I stand up from the couch and lift my left leg...
I want to be sure I start the new year off on the right foot.
when the clock strikes midnight, lift up your left leg
so you can start 2019 off on the right foot
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
