The cornea the better
I was hoping for a more measured response
She couldn't control her pupils.
Your pupils. They dilate.
It's about to get ugly out there.
Stay safe.
Between you and me, something smells.
The cold shoulder
'Sup brow?
Today my daughter (7) found a random plastic eyeball that fell off a toy in our yard. She carried it around with her all morning while she was playing different games. When it was time to clean up I noticed she was putting away all her toys except the eyeball.
I asked her: “Are you putting the eyeball away too or are you leaving it out?”
She replied: “leaving it out”
So I said: “Oh, so you can see what you’re doing?”
The stare… then huge eye roll. Then back to cleaning up.
I helped her finish putting away her toys and she came up behind me and pushed something against my back. I turned around and it was the eyeball.
She said: “Daddy, I’m keeping my eye on you!”
Proud moment. I hope she never gets tired of the dad humor!
I lashed out at him.
Eyes! They are so naughty, God/nature itself gave them lashes.
Lettuce grow, lettuce grow, lettuce grow.
Poor fella never even saw it coming
Introducing the iLash
I lash out.
Both of them are working, but the husband never did house chores and left it all to the wife. It's also the wife who dealt with everything about their children.
One day the wife can't take it anymore and lashed out.
Wife: "I'm tired with work too you know? Why don't you try putting yourself in my shoes?"
Husband: "I can't. Your shoes are too small."
I told her I was just lashing out.
Because they're lashing out!
As she was doing her makeup in the car, she was looking around for something she lost.
Me: Did you lose your eyelash brush?
Her: Eyelash brush? That's not a thing.
Me: Sorry, eyelash comb.
Her: No! That's not a thing either!
Me: Hey now, there's no reason to lash out at me...
Her: glares
My four-year-old son ran excitedly to the door to greet her. When she opened it, her appearance was startling. She looked like a goth. Her eyes were surrounded with jet-black make-up, with dramatic extra lashes drawn to the sides.
My son let out a shriek and rushed back into my arms for a hug. "What's on Mommy's eyes?" he asked tearfully.
I replied, "Ma scare ya?"
So my mom turns over to my dad pointing near her eye and asks:"Do I have a lash there?"
My dad answers:"Well, there are many lashes here!"
I can't
... it’s about to get ugly out there
