Two fishermen were having a contest to see who could make the most knots with a length of rope
Know why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean?
Because they've got to keep the ocean tide.
There was once a man who could untie any knot.
They called him the Knotcracker.
I did knot see that one coming!
True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says “they are knot holes”.
Miss4 says “if they are not holes, what are they?”
I didn't tie the knot till I was 38
I am hopeless with shoelaces.
Knot finished with this format yet
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!
Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.
Where were knots invented?
What do you call a monkey caught in a knot?
There couldn't be a tier list for knots because they would all be tied
Stare at this picture and watch me make this knot disappear.
Do You know how to tie the knot in space?
I'm floating away very quickly.
A friend of mine is a knot theorist and I told him a joke that wasn’t about knot theory.
He said he’s too old for not-knot jokes.
I'm coming up with knot designs shaped like letters of the Alphabet.
Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew
Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap
My colleague asked me if i was good at tying knots
I am married for the 3rd time, does that count?
These ones must be taut what knot to do
People are wondering whether I have any more of these bracelets - I’m a frayed knot
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “No, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “Of course... Wait, aren’t you that rope?”
And the rope replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”
My girlfriend asked if I could go a day without making a 'stupid' pun... frayed knot.
My friend walks into my room and starts tying knots in my charging cable.
Without hesitating, I respond, "You know, that's knot in a cord with what most people call good manners."
A bunch of knots were at a restaurant, but only one had dinner? Which one had dinner?
What do you call a Nazi who loves to tie knots and always says, "Nein!".
Patient: Doctor, I swallowed some rope last night Doctor: Have you got it out of you system yet? Patient: I'm a frayed knot
At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle just below the knot.
Then ask someone, "which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?"
After they guess, let in unravel and go, "Its a tie!"
...continue doing this to every single person you can in the room wearing a shit eating grin the whole time, until your wife pulls you aside and tells you it's time to leave (out of embarrassment and frustration).
now you get to go back home and do Dad stuff as you please!
If you can twist a can into a knot,
Knot to get your hopes up
Special Report: Execution Botched Today Due to Hangman's Absence During Knot Tying Seminar in his Youth
If one is an expert in tying knots,
Most pretzels are dough knots
Did you guys hear about the knot contest?
"I'm A Frayed Knot"
When People Tell Me That Joke, I Never Know What To Say. I'm Absolutely Tongue Tied. Which Is A Pity, Since It Takes Two To Tangle.
I once tried to do a fancy knot in my necktie, but it turned out so bad I went crazy and summoned a Great Old One.
Never figured I would bring forth and Eldredge Abomination.
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