Kindled Puns

I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.

Must have been doing some light reading.

So you feel write at home.

It's a sheep way to start a fire

My dad emailed my brother and I asking "should I buy a kindle fire?"

As he struggles with any technology, I asked "Why do you need a tablet?"

He responded in seconds: "Because I think I'm Moses."

He was struggling a bit and my mom said that there might be a seal on it.. He just looks at her with a straight face and says, "No it looks more like a walrus." Goddammit

Don't leaf I was only kindling.

Was rock climbing at the gym with my brother yesterday and we saw a girl struggling to make a move. Her friend yelled for her to put her left foot into the nook by her knee, and I suggested that she put her right foot into the Kindle. Nothing but bewildered looks.

"Did you bring your Kindle?"

No, why?

"It might help you with kindling the fire. Maybe you could use Tinder on your phone instead, it might give you a match."

...be considered kindling?

After coming in from grabbing some the firewood, my wife exclaimed "oh! We need sticks!" referring to kindling to start the fire.

In my best Dennis DeYoung, I started belting out "Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me!"

Then, with a shit eating grin, I said "Is that enough Styx for ya!?"

Unfortunately she had no idea what I was talking about and just looked at me blankly as I fell to the floor in laughter.

So you feel write at home.

So you feel write at home.