My wife keeps insisting that I should warm up before I start exercising.

Sounds like a stretch to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, β€œhere is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, β€œare you a vet?”

He said, β€œvet? I’m fucking soaking”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rohanlahiri05
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside. I said Lukewarm.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/charlie_8011
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
[from my 4yo boy] How do you keep warm in a cold room?

Go to the corner there always around 90Β°

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/123sam321
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps insisting that I should always warm up before I start exercising.

I think that’s a stretch.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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How do they keep astronauts warm on the International Space Station?

Space heaters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlaterTech
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I like the warm weather, it keeps me warm.

This was my warm-up joke.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiguelXavierTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Dad : Son, winter is coming so to keep yourself warm you must wear...

a sweater, cause it will keep yor body sweatier.

Me : (ΰ² _ΰ² )

Dad : Ok, I know this joke socks so I will quilt. You better blanket from your brain.

Me : (ΰ² _ΰ²₯)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kones_6999
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
You know why I like warm weather? It keeps me warm.

Don't worry, that's just my warm-up joke.

As much as I'd like to claim this as mine, credit goes to a friend of mine for this one.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What do Mexicans wear to keep warm this time of year?

A fleece Navidad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JerkyChew
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What keeps astronauts warm?

A space heater

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesometoenails
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
How do Mexicans keep warm?

They use chicken fa-heat-as.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mistah-S
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I have to keep the temperature in my house warm at night because cold air gives me atheism attacks...

...it makes me Confucian all night long.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aqua_zesty_man
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Light a man a fire, keep him warm for the night...

Light a man ON fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/donald386
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
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How do you keep water warm in the winter?

Aqua-fur coats.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakeisbill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside? I said Lukewarm.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark30322
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator

Keep it in the corner because it is 90 degree

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xd_Velociraptor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you keep the ISS warm?

Space heaters!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_-No0ne-_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How do astronauts keep warm?

They use a space heater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/6DollarShirtsAds
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you keep warm in a cold room?

You go to a corner because it’s always 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahnoikno
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you keep warm in a cold room?

You go to the corner, because it's always 90 degrees.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phteven13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
🚨︎ report
How does an astronaut keep warm in the cold vaccume of space?

With a space heater

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wer190
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
What does Buzz Aldrin use to keep his house warm?

A space heater!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noagendamarket
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
🚨︎ report

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