My sister keeps judging people by their sound systems.
I told her to stop being so stereotypical.
i created this dont judge.... 🙄
Me: mumbles I did not understand this chapter about electricity...
My friend: Watt?
Joke from my 10 yr old: How do hobbits judge their designs?
What did the judge say to the dentist?
DO you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
I made the Judge laugh so hard
I was guilty of Mans laughter.
The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"
The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?
A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.
Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.
Edit: remove one case
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
Judge threw the book at her
What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?
“In my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl play”
“Judge, 50% of my parking tickets are bogus!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok..... Judge, half of my parking tickets are bogus!
What do you call a judge who broke the law?
Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said “you can’t just divorce with someone for being stupid” to which Mickey said:
“I didn’t say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofy”
What do you call a Judge with no thumbs?
What kind of dinosaur judges you?
What does a judge get with his whiskey?
I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
Why did the judge set the bail so low for the ostrich charged with assault?
Why was horse declared as innocent by the judge?
Because he de-neigh-ed everything.
The cake shows up to the talent show and takes center stage. When the judge asks what is his talent. He replies...
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice,
What did the man say when he caught his wife cheating with the judge
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole
Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.
Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.
When I tried to admit new evidence to the trial, the judge threw a Granny Smith at me...
I then remembered it's an apple-late court.
Oh look, The diction-fairy (never judge a girl by her cover) XD
A little corny, but who am I to judge?
I got an apiarist to judge my beauty pageant
Beauty is, after all, in the eye of the bee holder
Your honor is it illegal to throw sodium chloride in someone's eyes?
Judge: it's assault
I know it's a salt, is it a crime though?
If I were a Judge,
I'd change my surname to Mental.
Judge: I order you to pay $10,000.
Mario: Why?
Judge: It's a fine.
Mario: No, itsa not.
What did the judge say to the molar?
Do you swear to tell the tooth and nothing but the tooth?
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom
What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
“Judge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok. I want to contest half of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus.
What do you call a judge without any fingers?
“Judge, I want to contest 60% of my parking tickets!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Fine. I want to contest 3/5 of my parking tickets!
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
