It was quite jarring.
Without skipping a beat I replied "I don't know, chilling?"
The look he gave me was totally worth it!
Someone would ask me for a recommendation. Then I'd grab a jar from a shelf and say "This one right here is my jam."
Wouldn't recommend, now I've got lead poisoning.
All my windows fell out.
It was a trifle bazaar.
It was a super spreader event.
It’s not my jam.
I tell you it don't matter, even if you put peanut butter on the bread too, you just can't make a decent sandwich with it. Got no taste.
I told her, "Woman, don't buy that KY jelly anymore!"
I heard he was in a bad jam.
He wanted to jam!
But at the door there was a sign saying no chocolate allowed. M&M hesitates.
"Hey guys, I might skip this one. I'm a chocolate. I'll catch you guys later" Skittle and Jelly Bean protest. "Nah man, you'll be fine, you're candy on the outside. Come in with us, it'll be fun!" Says his cousin Skittle. "Yeah, if anyone has a problem with you, we'll look after you" says Jelly Bean.
M&M decides he will go in, encouraged by his friends. They all have a good time, and no one mentions anything about M&M being chocolate on the inside.
The night is going well then suddenly the front door bangs open and in walks Vick and his gang of vapour drops. The party goes quiet as Vick surveys the room. His eyes stop on M&M.
"What the fuck are you doing M&M? Can't fucking read the sign? No chocolate allowed."
"But I'm candy on the outside, it's OK, right guys?" Protests M&M weakly. Jelly Bean and Skittle back off into the shadows, leaving M&M by himself.
" I think we need to teach this smart ass chocolate a fucking lesson, let's take this outside." Says Vick.
The vapor drops grab M&M and drag him outside and start beating him up, cracking his shell through to his chocolate. The gang walk away leaving M&M barely conscious on the lawn.
The next day in hospital, Jelly Bean and Skittle come to visit their friend, feeling bad for him. "Why didn't you guys stick up for me?" Asks M&M. "Man, you know Vick, there was nothing we could do, he's fucking menthol."
Michael and jello
I’ve never jelly’d my finger in a door before
She accidentally left the door ajar.
A mason jar
between jelly, jam, preserves and marmalade?
Answer: Jelly is made from fruit juice. Jam is made from juice and pulp. Preserves are made from whole fruits and marmalade is orange.
He found himself in quite a jam.
It’s a trifle bazar.
"I have to live in a Sea Anemone to keep me safe from preditors"
Jelly Fish shows off its tanticles; "With fronds like these, who needs Anemones."
I just got a strawberry JELLY-fish. Next on the hit list is a thermos. What other dad jokes and puns can I dedicate my needle therapy to? The cornier/dad-ier the better.
My kids want peanut butter and jelly for lunch everyday. I made Tuna fish yesterday and they all loved it and wanted it for lunch today.
On my daughter's way out of the car this morning I said,
"I hope you enjoy the "alTunative" to pbj."
She got it and I finally feel worthy.
Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.
Gunpowder gelatine
Because it's so hard to get it in the jar.
A traffic jam...when she's already late.
Jelly's fine, but paper jam is the best!
Traffic Jam
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
I said, "no big deal, you'll just have sweet dreams."
Red hot jelly peppers
This has two outcomes: a) person says what. b) person says sandwich
a) A sandwich! What did you think you’d get? b) You know, you have no clue how many people say what!
But I can't help it, that shit's my jam
I tried to open a jar of jelly time and time again, but just couldn't.
I looked at the jar, and saw it was jam-d. :D
You'd really be in a jam.
A jellycopter.
A joke my daughter told me when she was about 6.
A jelly fish
He got lead poisoning.
jello
