Japanese Restaurant Puns

It was a keepsake

The eye roll

Because they are tempura-ry

Singing “Wakeme up before you go go” apparently wasn’t as hysterical to everyone else.

She just loves playing Koi.

Me: why don't Australians make jokes about Chinese food?

Son: :-|

Me: [in Australian accent] because that would be ricest!

Son: :-|

Wife: :-|

Success!

Poké, mon.

Miso sorry.

They should call it, Studio Nibli.

So my family and I were out to dinner a few nights ago and I was talking about how in Japan the restrictions on Kobe beef are different from the rest of the world, so when you order it in many restaurants you're not actually eating Kobe beef. My dad's response to this was that it wasn't actually "Kobe beef" but "LeBron beef".

Me: Ooh, they have yakitori here!

Gf: That doesn't sound very good, do they have any yummytori?

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, an American, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Kenyan, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, a Moroccan, an Israeli, a Palestinian, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Manxman, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian and a Norwegian walk into a fine restaurant. “I’m sorry,” said the maître d’, “but you can’t come in here without a Thai."

My parents are both immigrants from Taiwan and came in the mid 80's. We've always owned restaurants (currently have a Japanese steak house this is important for later) so their English isn't all that bad and has improved over time. I've never gotten a single dad joke from him. Ever.

Que yesterday we are driving home from a family dinner to celebrate his birthday. We all get into the vehicle and my mom says in Chinese "You've got something hanging onto your shirt, it looks stringy. Is that a spider web?"

I respond, "What? That's his pet, he can't raise a pet spider?"

Dad says, "Yeah I raise them really big and fat so we can make spider rolls at the restaurant." (Spider roll is typically softshell crab in a roll with other stuffs for the non-sushi fans out there)

I groaned, chuckled, then reveled in all that was my first dad joke. It was awesome. Thanks for reading guys! Sorry it's so long.

Went to a Japanese restaurant for mom's birthday. Dad was at the table, but I'm the son in this situation. It was my first time trying sushi rolls. Waiter came by as we were finishing our meals....

Waiter: "Finishing up our sushi here?"

Me: "Yeah, we're wrapping up"

Dad: Do you know what the Japanese weather forecast is?

Chilly today, hot tamago!

Alternatively at Mexican restaurants: Chilly today, hot tamale.

A Chinese guy, a Japanese guy, a Korean guy and a Vietnamese guy go to a fancy restaurant.

The host tells then they can't come in. He says, "Sorry guys, I can't let you in without a Thai."