Why doesnβt Santa have to provide health insurance for his workers?
Theyβre technically Elf employed
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︎ Dec 06 2020
What kind of health insurance do Halloween creatures have?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 01 2020
I am trying to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the companies keep denying my application.
They told me, βIf your tent gets blown away, you wonβt be covered.β
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Everyone in my peer group was using State Farm for insurance...
So I decided to go with the Flo.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
I saw an insurance commercial with a gay couple in it.
Guess it was Progressive.
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︎ Aug 04 2020
What kind of insurance do candles companies get?
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︎ Jun 26 2020
My son turned 27, so he's no longer covered by my health insurance.
In other words, his manufacturer's warranty is up.
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︎ Apr 23 2020
What kind of car insurance does a rat have?
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︎ May 24 2020
Getting good dental insurance...
...is like pulling teeth.
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︎ May 20 2020
What do you call Batman insurance policies?
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︎ May 01 2020
My health insurance company refused to pay my bill because I believe in reincarnation.
They said I have a pre existing condition.
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︎ Feb 15 2020
New glasses are $144 after insurance.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 14 2020
Elon Muskβs car insurance must be astronomical!
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︎ Feb 08 2018
I guess I have a bad driving record because only 1 insurance company would take me as a customer.
I had to go with the Flo.
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︎ Jan 07 2020
What kind of insurance does an i.t. guy have to sign up for?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 17 2020
My dad sells life insurance
And on his calendars he mails to his clients he put. β[His Name], your agent for lifeβ
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 19 2019
What is the best car insurance a snake can get?
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 23 2019
Did you hear that lady in the Progressive Insurance ads has been dating a rapper?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Why did the orange refuse to get car insurance?
Because he already had... anti-accidents.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Me: that was the insurance company
Dad: whatβd they say?
Me: theyβll pay me for the tow
Dad: why do they want your big toe?
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︎ Dec 27 2019
I was sat next to an insurance salesman at a Robbie Williams last night.
And through it all, he offered me protection!
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︎ Oct 27 2019
Hoping to collect on insurance, I bought a bumper sticker for my old car saying, "Please Steal Me." Unfortunately it didn't work.
They stole the sticker and left the car.
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︎ Oct 20 2019
My nephew told me that he's never had vision insurance.
I told him he really should look into it.
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︎ Jul 29 2019
I have to write a paper about insurance, and I need to use in-text citations.
So I think Iβll get a quote.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 14 2019
On an article about a woman who sawed her hand off to claim insurance
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︎ Mar 13 2019
If I got an ingrown toenail but my insurance didn't cover it...
Would I have to foot the bill?
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︎ Feb 26 2019
My local farmer's insurance had this outside their window.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 11 2018
A fishing boat recently capsized when the fish on one side of the net all swam down. Insurance refused to pay out.
They argued it was an act of cod.
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︎ May 17 2019
I phone up the insurance company about my Delorean and they wanted Β£2,000.
Itβs ridiculous I only want to drive it from time to time.
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︎ Jan 03 2019
What would Fleetwood Mac get insurance for?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 19 2019
I asked my wife if we should get pet insurance this year
She asked: What does that in tail?
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︎ Nov 06 2018
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︎ Aug 15 2018
What insurance covers sex changes???
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︎ Jun 14 2018
We should raise insurance rates on drivers who have never crashed their cars.
They're driving wrecklessly.
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︎ Jun 21 2018
i started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
it's called "oopsie daisies"
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︎ Sep 04 2016
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︎ Dec 05 2015
Gf: I learned a lot about insurance at work today. Specifically high risk pools.
Me: I don't like high risk pools...unless there are at least two life guards on duty.
(The look of disgust is something I'll cherish forever)
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︎ Apr 01 2017
My brother turned 45 and decided to buy a bunch of insurance he didn't need and couldn't afford.
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 07 2017
I was trying to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but I was refused.
The company said, βIf your tent gets blown away, you wonβt be covered.β
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
I went to get tornado insurance for my camp site, but the bank refused.
They said, βIf your tent gets blown away, you wonβt be covered.β
π︎ 70
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.
They said, βIf your tent gets destroyed, you wonβt be covered.β
π︎ 4k
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︎ Apr 19 2018
I tried to buy tornado insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.
They said, βIf your tents get blown over, you wonβt be covered.β
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︎ Dec 24 2018
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I'm camping
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︎ Jul 03 2018
I tried to buy some tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.
They said, βIf your tents get blown away, you wonβt be covered.β
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 23 2019
I tried to get some storm insurance for my campsite, but I was denied.
They said that if my tents get blown away, I wonβt be covered.
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︎ Feb 04 2019
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