Be impressed about my top-floor DIY walk-in closet for my denim wear.
You can call me a jean attic engineer
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
I don't think she was impressed with me
My friend claims that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed.
I have had a Canon printer for years.
You'd be impressed with the display cabinet I have at home, full of saltwater and semen.
I won’t act like I’m not impressed
I wasn't impressed with the ketchup manufacturer's market research.
They had terrible sauces.
At a job interview the interviewer asked me why i had a 4 year gap in my resume. I told him, that it’s because i went to yale. He looked impressed and told me i’m hired.
I went to an exotic petting zoo with Boy George. He wasn't at all impressed with their limited range of animals.
He started pointing them out to me.
"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."
++++++++++++++++++
I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.
I like it. I'm proud of myself.
"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
People at our Christmas party were impressed when I showed off my incredibly detailed tattoo, but they didn't believe me when I tell them I got it done in Madrid.
Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision.
I told my wife “Honey, there’s a chip in our new bowls!” She was not as impressed.
People who aren't impressed by pictures of a Black Hole clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation.
My gf wasn’t impressed when she asked me to leave the door ajar
Anyone I ever dated was impressed when I told them I liked to relax on my poop deck.
They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.
My mother’s leg was amputated 2 years ago. I wrote this punderful post to make her smile. It was more than successful and also impressed her doctor.
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.
He said, “You’re telling me a flea runs this market?!”
My kid thought I should be impressed that she made a zero out of a twist tie.
I told her she’s 7, she should know that means nothing.
My friend wasn't too impressed with my response....
Business SPAZual; my gf is not impressed
A movie about Janitors impressed critics.
Later that year the movie swept the Oscars.
I'm not impressed with out solar system
I tried picking up this girl today by sharing my extensive knowledge of the Titanic, but she wasn't impressed.
I guess you could say it wasn't a very effective ice breaker.
I'm not impressed with the people who organize the New Year's celebration in Times Square
They always drop the ball.
If you're impressed by girls who have "legs for days"...
Then I'd like to inform you that I've had legs literally my whole life.
Whenever I see someone jogging on a cold winter morning, I always think to myself, “Wow! I’m so impressed....
....that I am up this early!”
I'm always super impressed by what tall people have done
If a homeless dinosaur wants his date to be impressed...
I'm not that impressed when I hear about someone killing someone or something with their bare hands
I mean, that's gotta be easier than using your squirrel hands or deer hands, right?
As an Android user, I finally gave in and bought my first Apple device. I have to say I'm impressed, even if it only has a single-core processor
Pic of my new device here - http://i.imgur.com/UwQ8ZUE.jpg
Why wasn't the guy impressed with the airplane parts in the movie?
Here is a dad joke I shouldn't have said but I laughed for a good 10 minutes. Wife wasn't impressed.
We're driving through our neighborhood and a guy pulls out quick and wife says "watch out for the guy pulling out."
My 4 year old is at the ask everything stage and says "what's pulling out?"
Me "well son, if I did that a little sooner you wouldn't be here"
My wife wasn't impressed but it gets better.
So someone in the family recently had a baby and were talking about it and son says "why don't daddies have babies?" We explain and he asks where babies come from. I chime in as I am getting out of the car "well, now we come back to pulling out". He was so confused, wife was pissed but I had a good laugh. I think I'll keep it g rated next time.
Dad to my forever alone sister. She wasn't very impressed.
My sister is a single mum and has been having trouble with love.
Mum: What do you want for Christmas?
Sister: A husband
Dad: Wouldn't you rather he be single?
She walked right out of the room.
This dad joke's more of a mom pun. She wasn't impressed, regardless.
http://i.imgur.com/6b53dgn.png?2
My friend just told me that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
I heard that you can now print a gun off a 3D printer, but I am not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
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