Implements Puns

A list of puns related to "Implements"

Someone stole my farm implements...

I was distractored.

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👤︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
📅︎ Dec 11 2021
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What is the second best writing implement?

Pen Ultimate

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👤︎ u/Actual-Stock-6505
📅︎ Sep 19 2021
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I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.

I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".

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👤︎ u/jhnrmn
📅︎ Jan 25 2021
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I’ve recently designed a miniature IoT smart kitchen implement for straining vegetables. It’s a source of much discussion and argument between people in the culinary world.

You could say my creation is a little device-seive.

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👤︎ u/hairyfacedhooman
📅︎ Nov 26 2019
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I tried really hard to make my favorite notebook into a beautiful writing implement...

...but I was told I shouldn't make a fountain out of a Moleskine.

(crossposted to /r/fountainpens)

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👤︎ u/DontFuckWithMyMoney
📅︎ Jul 22 2014
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It required a lot of effort for a man to implement a rule about only allowing large-footed patrons into his restaurant.

It was no small feat.

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👤︎ u/MuteMason
📅︎ Apr 05 2017
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What do you call a cake baked by a garden implement?

Hoemade

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👤︎ u/ROBOEMANCIPATOR
📅︎ Jan 16 2017
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Wanna hear an under 18 joke? Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he didn't have a driver's license

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👤︎ u/Arik2893
📅︎ Feb 04 2022
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One of my coworkers is constantly chewing Bubble Yum and it makes a lot of noise.

I wish my workplace would implement common-sense gum control.

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👤︎ u/MGreenMN
📅︎ Dec 11 2021
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Denmark, Norway, and Sweden just implemented bar codes on all their military ships.

That way, whenever one of them comes into port, they can Scandinavian.

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👤︎ u/movieguy2004
📅︎ Jan 03 2020
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Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a “phone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it “Phone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?
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👤︎ u/winnieloo
📅︎ Feb 08 2019
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A warden implemented a policy to only allow medical assistance to inmates that previously cooperated

They called it "Snitches get stitches"

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👤︎ u/TheOtherHoboBeard
📅︎ May 18 2020
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A new precaution has been implemented to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus.

All TCP communications will be converted to UDP to avoid handshakes.

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👤︎ u/maneatingrabbit
📅︎ Mar 11 2020
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Dwayne Johnson is a master of origami...

As his apprentice, I once assisted him at an exhibition and managed to lose the cutting implement he uses to prepare the paper for folding. I can’t believe I lost The Rock’s Paper Scissors.

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👤︎ u/andersonfmly
📅︎ May 14 2021
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In his defense, it IS more accurate

My dad is convinced that he coined the term "SQTM" online, meaning "smiling quietly to myself," in lieu of the often-hyperbolized "LOL." And tries to implement it frequently.

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👤︎ u/lachicareal
📅︎ Dec 13 2013
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My farm implements have been stolen. I was distractored.
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👤︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
📅︎ Feb 01 2021
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