Immaculately Puns

Me: I had to run some errands today and the area I was in was so sketchy I thought I was going die.

Him: Well it's a good thing you weren't walking errands, or someone might've caught you.

Except for the Christian station, I get immaculate reception

I went to the optometrist for an eye test today and he was showing me the picture he took of the inside of my eye. He pointed to the macula and said it looked perfect. I said "So you think it's immaculate?"

"How does everything look?"

"Immaculate."

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

It's immaculate.

My dad found a screw in the garage, so he handed it to my mom and said, "Hey, wanna screw?"
This coming from parents who insist all their children were immaculate conceptions.

So I was at a hotel recently for a wedding. It just so happened that the hotel was also hosting a DECA (high school business/entrepreneurship extra-curricular) conference while we were there. My family got into an elevator with a few of the participants, and immediately, my dad turned to them and asked, "So do you have an elevator pitch?" I've never felt such an immaculate combination of pride and embarrassment.