The immaculate conception? The Holy Spirit was in the womb where it happened.
👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Jul 14 2020
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At 19, my boyfriend is a master of dad jokes.

Me: I had to run some errands today and the area I was in was so sketchy I thought I was going die.

Him: Well it's a good thing you weren't walking errands, or someone might've caught you.

👍︎ 350
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👤︎ u/shercocked
📅︎ Oct 29 2013
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I've always had trouble bringing in local TV stations with the antenna

Except for the Christian station, I get immaculate reception

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Jul 13 2018
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Dadjoked the Optometrist

I went to the optometrist for an eye test today and he was showing me the picture he took of the inside of my eye. He pointed to the macula and said it looked perfect. I said "So you think it's immaculate?"

👍︎ 17
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👤︎ u/rikeus
📅︎ May 14 2015
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Closing the Apple Store at the end of the night.

"How does everything look?"

"Immaculate."

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Oct 28 2014
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Dad pulled this one out at a restaurant tonight. A fellow dad at another table started chuckling.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

It's immaculate.

👍︎ 24
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👤︎ u/Hayzi
📅︎ Nov 29 2013
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Dad's joke to mom

My dad found a screw in the garage, so he handed it to my mom and said, "Hey, wanna screw?"
This coming from parents who insist all their children were immaculate conceptions.

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Dec 04 2013
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My dad hit some high schoolers HARD

So I was at a hotel recently for a wedding. It just so happened that the hotel was also hosting a DECA (high school business/entrepreneurship extra-curricular) conference while we were there. My family got into an elevator with a few of the participants, and immediately, my dad turned to them and asked, "So do you have an elevator pitch?" I've never felt such an immaculate combination of pride and embarrassment.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ May 25 2014
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