Ever since I went through with my sex change operation my kids have been completely ignoring me

It's like I'm transparent.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yanaytsabary
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Folks kept ignoring me until I started talking about rice.

People pay more attention when you bring ricin to the conversation.

Credit to u/RollinThundaga.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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My daughter was ignoring her mother. She was 'busy playing', so I told her to tell her mother she loved her from over there

Yes... she said "I love you momma from over here"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xoke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
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My wife is just ignoring me now ...

She's allergic to our cat so we keep the door closed to our bedroom. I told her I don't like kicking the cat out of there when he sneaks in.

"I don't want him to feel like an outcats."

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trevize1138
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theskyguyuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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I keep begging my wife to wear pretty dresses, but she just ignores me.

I guess she wears the pants in the relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LOLDrDroo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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My dog just ignores me when I call him...

Ever since he got that phone, he acts like he doesn't need ne anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Why did everyone ignore the tall flightless bird?

Because he was Ostrich-sized

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHFanEdits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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My daughter is learning how to write numbers...

She said to my wife, β€œMommy, I don’t remember how to do a 2.”

So I yelled out, β€œYou just sit on the potty and push!”

They both ignored me. So now you all get to appreciate my joke instead.

πŸ‘︎ 991
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamundan
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pottercron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What do you call an Ignorant Piece of Toast

a Breadneck

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carcival
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Let’s just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

... why are you ignoring me?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Viperclutch101
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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As we sat down for lunch, I proudly announced to my daughter, "Little known fact, the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France!" Unimpressed, she ignored me and kept eating. Not being one to give up, I continued...

"Nope, they were cooked in Greece!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What do you call an ignorant duck?

"Je ne sais quack!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheeselesssmile
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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I boasted to my son, "Did you know scientists discovered that the brains of male parents irreversibly change after their first child was born?" He rolled his eyes and ignored me, but I carried on...

"They become brain-dad!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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why did the short person ignore the you must be this tall to ride sign

he was above it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crypt-lord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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If you get a message from the government warning not to eat tinned meat because is contains Covid-19, just ignore it.

It’s spam

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopus-Pawn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I'm sad it got ignored.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncoded_decimal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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Ignore your mother's bad joke, son...

It's a faux pa.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Anatomical Ignorance /r/Jokes/comments/ecred2/…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RpGTGEoD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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What did the ignorant man say when he heard the Corona virus had been given a new name by the world health organisation

WHO?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hetchem994
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Why did my son use wool on his minecraft airfield runway?

True story.

My son was excitedly telling us about his minecraft airfield that he was building, and he explained that, among many other details that my brain ignored, he made the runway out of wool. Other son asked why. I was very excited to tell him that it was because asphalt was expensive, and wool was sheep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/millia13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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My son only ate the white rice and ignored the meatball and yellow lentils

I think he's ricist

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/falgony
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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My ignorant boss didn't know what serotonin is...

...so I told him that it was my friend Sarah training at the gym.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinigamiDady
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I get ignored so much, might as well be called terms and conditions
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reborn0608
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Dad: Why did the elephant climb the maple tree?

Daughter: (Studiously ignores him).

Dad: To eat some cherries.

Daughter: (Not looking up from her phone). Maple trees don't have cherries, Dad.

Dad: He brought his own.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RipKipley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What vampire does everyone accept, but basically ignore?

DracEULA.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chivalrybean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2015
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Why did Thanos’s people ignore his plan?

Because he was known for his snap judgments

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lord-of-fail
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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I’m living willfully ignorant...

Whatever that means.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moosesurgeon12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don't know and I don't care

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/p0tatochip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TugBoatAugust
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy ?

I don't know and I don't care

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
People keep asking me what's the difference between Ignorance and Apathy

I don't know, and I don't care.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkittishRodney
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Don’t know, don’t care.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hshark215
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know

And, I don't care.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rare_Breed721
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XerXer716
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HXCg4m3r
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I neither know, nor care.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slightly-simian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Frankly, I don't know, and I don't care.

πŸ‘︎ 201
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know, and I don't care.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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