"Or, well, Ian..."
Theyโre calling themselves the Guard-Ians of the Galaxy.
It's the GregorIan Calendar.
https://preview.redd.it/pcu1x2n9tvs51.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8b5cc4564de7f6b3da1ce9dfd2508b168d159e6
A GregOrIan calendar
A Magician
Iโm on a Greg-or-Ian calendar.
Me: Heโs called Conan.
Ian: Huh?
Me: Itโs Conan the bar bear, Ian.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZf0Q-v3u-k
We are on a Greg or Ian calendar.
which I think is poor for four.
Ian
A real magic Ian.
I bet Elijah wood know.
Ian
His name is Ian.
A vege***chair***ian
Greg or Ian
They were dentical twins.
. . . so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
Ian
One of the funniest school puns; science puns
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyโd be alloys.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
If youโre not part of the solution, youโre part of the precipitate.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, โNo, Iโm traveling light.โ
Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because youโre talking nonsense!
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโs 0K now.
I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says โI think Iโll have an H2O.โ The second one says โI think Iโll have an H2O tooโ โ and he died.
A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.
Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
What element is a girlโs future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your โstyle.โ
Iโm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I canโt put it down.
I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnโt seem to be gaining momentum.
Why canโt atheists solve exponential equations? Because they donโt believe in higher powers.
Schrodingerโs cat walks into a bar. And doesnโt.
Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies โFor you, no chargeโ.
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: โOh, no, I think I lost an electron.โ โAre you sure?โ
โYe
... keep reading on reddit โกIan Phlegming
Because they're I-rain-ian.
Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.
While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).
I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)
The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."
I like pscycholinguistics โ the only department of linguistics where itโs acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.
Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)
What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"
Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.
I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)
I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".
I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten
... keep reading on reddit โกAt the Barber-ian.
Dad: We finally figured out a way to get Ian to stop spending so much time in the bathroom!
Uncle: Really? How?
Dad: Well, depends.
First this man of about 50 says to his ~12 year old daughter The Classic
Daughter: I'm tired
Dad:Hi, Tired. I'm Dad
Ten or so minutes later we discussed trivia about presidents
Daughter: I'm going to run for president one day
Dad: Why are you going to run? Why not walk?
Then, he continued with his joke, and it only got better.
Dad: I should've been a stand-up commode-ian. That's just a guy who stands next to the commode.
A real American hero
Its the Gregorian calendar
Ian.
ian.
Ian
Ian
Ian.
Ian.
Ian
ian.
Ian
An Ian.
Ian
Ian.
Monday: Greg Tuesday: Ian Wednesday: Greg Thursday: Ian Friday: Greg
