My buddy Ian is a strong proponent of state surveillance of citizens. I disagree and think it's a bad idea, so I said...

"Or, well, Ian..."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I heard Ian McKellan, Ian McDiarmid, and Ian Holm are teaming up to defend the Milky Way.

They’re calling themselves the Guard-Ians of the Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun- its Greg Tues, Thurs, Sat- its Ian

It's the GregorIan Calendar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skycooper11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
This was posted by Sir Ian McKellen himself on Facebook

https://preview.redd.it/pcu1x2n9tvs51.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8b5cc4564de7f6b3da1ce9dfd2508b168d159e6

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Limeila
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Monday: Greg. Tuesday: Ian: Wednesday: Greg. Thursday: Ian. Friday: Greg

A GregOrIan calendar

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Greg or Ian hmmm
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cparara1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you on Greg or Ian’s side?
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lava3063
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mage named ian?

A Magician

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vuyfogifux
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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For the past year, I’ve been going out drinking alternating between my friend Greg one week and my other friend Ian the next week.

I’m on a Greg-or-Ian calendar.

πŸ‘︎ 408
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Ian: Why are you taking a teddy bear to the bar?

Me: He’s called Conan.

Ian: Huh?

Me: It’s Conan the bar bear, Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Sir Ian Mckellen tells a dad joke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZf0Q-v3u-k

πŸ‘︎ 550
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ectomania
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Our friends Ian and Greg are not talking to each other, so we alternately invite them to our social events.

We are on a Greg or Ian calendar.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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I like toilet jokes so much,I became a comode-ian.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.

which I think is poor for four.

πŸ‘︎ 375
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Magician without magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The actor playing Gandalf was enchanting.

A real magic Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlydesHail
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know who played frodo in Lord of the rings?

I bet Elijah wood know.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemesisprime1984
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a magician called when he loses magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lafilafi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who claims he is 50% Indian.

His name is Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a couch potato sitting in a recliner?

A vege***chair***ian

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stickmanofdoom
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy doing ominous Latin chanting?

Greg or Ian

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wigglesface
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I once knew twins who were exactly alike except one was missing an eye

They were dentical twins.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaudiocomplex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
🚨︎ report
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope . . .

. . . so it can be a gourd-ian knot.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloakmouse1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a friend who’s half Indian...

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.


The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.


If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”


Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!


How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.


What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O too” β€” and he died.


A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.


Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your β€œstyle.”


I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.


I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.


Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.


Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.


Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.


What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!


A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies β€œFor you, no charge”.


Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: β€œOh, no, I think I lost an electron.” β€œAre you sure?”

β€œYe

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
What allergy ridden English author wrote novels about a British spy?

Ian Phlegming

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are Persians drenched all the time?

Because they're I-rain-ian.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
🚨︎ report
Where do vikings go to get their hair cut?

At the Barber-ian.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychostudent
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2015
🚨︎ report
My brother's known for having to go to the bathroom all. the. freaking. time.

Dad: We finally figured out a way to get Ian to stop spending so much time in the bathroom!

Uncle: Really? How?

Dad: Well, depends.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frenchmeister
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
🚨︎ report
I witnessed three dad jokes tonight.

First this man of about 50 says to his ~12 year old daughter The Classic

Daughter: I'm tired

Dad:Hi, Tired. I'm Dad

Ten or so minutes later we discussed trivia about presidents

Daughter: I'm going to run for president one day

Dad: Why are you going to run? Why not walk?

Then, he continued with his joke, and it only got better.

Dad: I should've been a stand-up commode-ian. That's just a guy who stands next to the commode.

A real American hero

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellyButtonBob
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
🚨︎ report
(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)

Its the Gregorian calendar

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who's lost his magic ?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?

ian.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chicomagnifico
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician that has lost his magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSinkingShit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/larrydavid1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician that has lost their magic?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illthinkofonel8er
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Magician with no Magic

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
what do u call a magician who has lost their magic?

ian.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fmlolika
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Magician who has lost his magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buggywoxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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What do you call a magician that's lost his magic?

An Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeLordsUnited
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a magician loses his magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcpat21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician without magic?

Ian.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yennicita
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you think of my Gregorian calendar?

Monday: Greg Tuesday: Ian Wednesday: Greg Thursday: Ian Friday: Greg

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
🚨︎ report

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