A photon walks into a hotel. The porter asks it if it has any luggage.
It replies: 'nope, I' m travelling light'
Jesus walks into a hotel
Throws three nails on the reception desk and asks “Can you put me up for the night?”
Hotels are good but not perfect,
it's fair to say, they can have many floors.
Today I got out of jail, pushed my car into a hotel, and ended up bankrupt.
I'm angry, the hotel said the breakfast was complementary.
So I went, and it didn't say a single nice thing about me.
My hotel tried to charge me extra for the use of the air conditioner.
After years of working housekeeping making beds in a hotel I applied for a job as an accountant
I told them I had plenty of experience because I excel at spread sheets.
There was a sign in the hotel lobby that said: "Breakfast is available at 7 a.m."
I think a one minute window is too small, though.
A photon checks into a hotel...
and the bellhop says, 'Do you have any luggage?'
'No,' replied the photon, 'I'm travelling light'.
I’m opening a high end barber shop on the top floor of a hotel..
It’s a cut above the rest.
Why did the hotel manager get irritated with a chess team that was celebrating their win in the hotel lobby?
Because he doesn't like chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
The first letter of the sign of a derelict hotel fell off and killed a man.
Last winter, we went to a pool inside a hotel but we weren’t allowed to use the accessories worn on the feet to help us swim...
we felt bad and unhappy when the attendant said “no indoor fins!”
Stayed in a hotel with a gay ghost last night
It really put the willy's up me....
A group of friends were walking around the beach looking to find a hotel to stay but they were all booked except for one, one of them said:
"Guys, that's our last resort."
A hotel just offered me a job making beds...
I think I'll turn them down.
Why don’t hotels have libraries?
That would make it too easy to book a room!
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
Why are skinny jeans like a cheap hotel?
I got tickets for the next Super Bowl plus hotel and airfare, but it turns out my wedding is on the same day!
If you'd like to go instead, it's at St. Peter's Church on Main Street at 6:00 pm. Her name is Melanie and she'll be wearing all white.
Why is an Australian prisoner like an Australian hotel?
So my hotel just tried to charge me ten extra dollars for air conditioning..
I went on a vacation to Hungary, but I couldn't find a hotel with any vacancies.
A Man in a hotel has trouble finding his room, goes down to the front desk and asks ' Excuse me, can you tell me what room I'm in please ? '
Certainly Sir, said the receptionist...this is the Lobby.
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he can assist with any luggage.
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
A man is staying in a hotel.
He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?”
The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.”
The worst hotel I've ever stayed in was called "The Fiddle".
Why was the television repair man called out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers hotel room?
What do you call a bunch of chess nerds bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Why do they call the top rooms in a hotel the suite?
'Cause when you open the door to walk in you say .... 'sweeeeet'
The Russian president was spotted on the roof of a hotel.
At that point, he was truly Putin on the Ritz.
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.
I said don’t forget your Baghdad.
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room
after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
What do you call a potato in a hotel room?
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
From my son. "What do you call Coffee for sad people?"
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.
I called the front desk and they told me they had a doctor on staff.
After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed that such a small place had a doctor.
He nodded and said "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INN PHYSICIAN!!!!
Where does a cow stay when it's on a vacation?
A mooooo-tel
And where does Santa Claus stay on a vacation?
In a Ho-Ho-Hotel
The AC was broken at the hotel lobby I am staying at.
I wasn't expecting such a warm reception.
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
How could you describe a group of chess grandmasters bragging about their skills in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
The worst hotel I’ve ever stayed in was called The Fiddle.
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