Is a hot dog a sub or a sandwich?

It’s just a hot dog. No bun intended.

Posted at r/jokes but someone told me to post here. Guess I’m officially old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/treflipallday
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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The soupervisor
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S1isbetterthanyou
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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Three men were stranded in the middle of a desert, and only allowed to bring one item for survival.

Bob asked Tom, β€œwhat did you bring?” β€œA bottle of water, I’m sure to get thirsty in a desert” replied Tom.

β€œWhat did you bring?” Tom asked. β€œThis sandwich. I figure I’m gonna get hungry what with all of the walking.” replied Bob.

Bob and Tom turn to the third man, and ask β€œForrest, what have you got there?” Forrest said, β€œI have a car door, if it gets too hot, I’ll roll down the window.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamkeerock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Not a dad, but I think I am prepared... Well everyone in line thought so anyway.

This starts and ends at the local coffee shop I go to on the way to work. My cashier takes my order; sausage, egg & cheese with salt, pepper, ketchup and hot sauce, on toasted rye. She taps away for a moment on the iPad POS then looks up and says "and a name for the sandwich?" to which I quickly raise my chest and proclaim "Breakfast!". To this all 6 people in the shop, including the cashier started chuckling.

[drop mic]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractalphony
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Help with puns for mother's day cards

I'm making Mothers day cards for my mother deli co-workers. I kind of have have an idea for one of them (http://imgur.com/3FKyto0) I want to play on deli themes.

Prima Della is one of the brands we use, others are Hormel, Charlie's Pride, Sara Lee, and Jenny O. In the deli we have a deep frier and hot case, meat/cheese slicers and make sandwiches/salads.

Any fun plays on words for any of those that would make a fun PG-PG13 card? Nothing too vulgar, I work with these ladies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SparkyDogPants
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
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Dad joked a co-worker

I work at a tearoom and we do some hot food, one of my coworkers cam with a simple order and I used a simple dadjoke

Co-worker: Bacon Sandwich, Well done.

Me: Thanks but I haven't even started yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spinxington
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
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