"... They're out standing in their field."
Me: SEAHORSE!!!
kids: what? Where?
I point to the horse in the field: see? Horse!
These days everyone drives cars and only the rich own horses.
Oh how the stables have turned.
As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy “Hello! Sounds like you’re having some car trouble. Can I help at all?” The woman replies that she’s not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see what’s going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says “Don’t worry about your car. I’ll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.” All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. “Thank you so much, you’re a life saver,” she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying “I’m glad I could help. But I’m no life saver. I’m just a jolly rancher.”
The winner and the 9 runner ups: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"
- "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
- "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
- "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
- "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
- "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
- "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
- "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
- "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
- "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
I can't post a picture so here
Also, I know this isn't really a joke post, so I'll just put one here.
Where do horses live?
In a neeeeeeighborhood!
We were driving by a farm (shocker, I live in a rural area) and this exchanged happened.
Her: Awe that horse is starring at the group of horses in the other field. They must want a horse friend.
Me: Why? They'd just horse around all day.
Her: ..... ugh.
We were driving through a rural area near here when we went past an abandoned horse track, complete with stands etc.
She was pointing it out and saying "oh look, there's even the ticket booth!" and the like when she spots the horse stalls in a falling down old building.
She said "Do you think those are stables?"
I looked over at them and replied "Hmm. I don't think so. I mean, they don't look very stable to me!"
It was such a good joke that I laughed myself horse.
We were driving through a suburb on the other side of town, and there was a large grassy area in between the houses that had horses. Me: Gee theses houses have some nice neighbours. Wife:..... no. ....
The stables have turned.
