Driving past a farm, I said to the kids, "Those are expert horses..."

"... They're out standing in their field."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuzinrob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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Now stop horsing around.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elarandra
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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100 years ago everyone owned horses and only the rich drove cars

These days everyone drives cars and only the rich own horses.

Oh how the stables have turned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mulletboiiii
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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Whenever we drive by a field with a horse in it, I get my girls with this.

Me: SEAHORSE!!!

kids: what? Where?

I point to the horse in the field: see? Horse!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/strider820
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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Driving along a country road with my daughter today...

When we had to overtake a horse. I did what your supposed to, slowed right down and gave them a wide berth. As we passed, my daughter noted that she didn't even smile or wave thanks at us. So I said, "Yeah, look at her on her high horse"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fox2319
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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My dad said this just now while driving...

We're at a red light and the truck in front of us is pulling a trailer with two horses in it. We are just looking at the back of the horses.

My Dad: "What an horses ass that guy is"

My Dad: Looks at me

My Dad: Winks.

I'm 26.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d3vourm3nt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
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Got my GF while driving home from rock climbing

We were driving by a farm (shocker, I live in a rural area) and this exchanged happened.

Her: Awe that horse is starring at the group of horses in the other field. They must want a horse friend.

Me: Why? They'd just horse around all day.

Her: ..... ugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hooks_And_Needles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2016
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Called my friend while he was driving...

In the middle of our conversation, he cuts me off.

"Okay, I'm doing, like, 78 right now, how the hell did a Ford pickup with one of those horse trailers hooked to the back just pass me?"

"Isn't it obvious? It has more horsepower."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GelfandDesign
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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A car cruising down a rural country suddenly backfires.

As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy β€œHello! Sounds like you’re having some car trouble. Can I help at all?” The woman replies that she’s not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see what’s going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says β€œDon’t worry about your car. I’ll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.” All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. β€œThank you so much, you’re a life saver,” she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying β€œI’m glad I could help. But I’m no life saver. I’m just a jolly rancher.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foyeldagain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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Nearly all the funniest jokes at Edinburgh Fringe is dad jokes

The winner and the 9 runner ups: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"

  • "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
  • "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
  • "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
  • "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
  • "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
  • "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
  • "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
  • "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
  • "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Whenever we would drive over a speed bump...

My dad would always say, without fail, "We hit a horse!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
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Some people just can't appreciate a good dad joke these days :/

I can't post a picture so here
Also, I know this isn't really a joke post, so I'll just put one here.
Where do horses live?
In a neeeeeeighborhood!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadowbandits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Every time my dad and I are in a car.

Every time I'm driving somewhere with my dad and we pass a field he will yell "hay!" And catch me off guard. I'll instantly be aware and start looking around. "What?!?" He'll respond, "Just a hay field."

And say nothing else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crab_Daddy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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I dad-joked my wife. We don't even have any kids.

We were driving through a rural area near here when we went past an abandoned horse track, complete with stands etc.

She was pointing it out and saying "oh look, there's even the ticket booth!" and the like when she spots the horse stalls in a falling down old building.

She said "Do you think those are stables?"

I looked over at them and replied "Hmm. I don't think so. I mean, they don't look very stable to me!"

It was such a good joke that I laughed myself horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theredkrawler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
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Got my wife today

We were driving through a suburb on the other side of town, and there was a large grassy area in between the houses that had horses. Me: Gee theses houses have some nice neighbours. Wife:..... no. ....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartica
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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100 years ago everyone had horses and only the rich had cars. Now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses.

The stables have turned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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