What can I expect? Is there anything I can do for him or tell him? I have no idea what to expect or what is even going on. Any help or advice please
I got released to home confinement a month ago. I'm beyond grateful for the opportunity to have it, but I feel like everything I do is going to be in violation and get me sent back!! For example, I go to a clinic every morning (that I'm en route home from now actually and in need of distraction) which they've approved but since I have to use med cab to get anywhere I sometimes go off route with the driver when they have to pick up other people. Since it's a rideshare company that's something that anyone who uses it has to just deal with and it's out of my control.. this is something home confinement knows and I do call the second if anything I feel I should call about happens (they stop for gas etc). I've only been chewed out once and yes I am doing other things to avoid problems like taking a Lyft instead if they're considerate enough of my situation to let me know they're picking up other people that day, cooperating with all the clinic demands so I can start getting take home doses, anything I can and will do but I just can't stop catastrophizing every thought and assume that eventually for some reason I'm going to be fucked. I understand people go through a lot of panic on parole too? A few ladies on the inside said to never take home confinement or parole because it's a set up which I know is just the words of someone who messed it up for themselves but I was just wondering any advice you might have for someone fresh out or if anyone is/has a long time on home confinement?
I wanted to share in hopes it encourages anyone who might need it. I did/do. For years I never passed the dependence stage, plus many years to get to dependence, so I thought I was safe, and lucky, albeit unhealthily reliant. Well that changed when after 3 overlapping traumas using alcohol to cope I found myself in addiction, quickly. I was sick of and scared of that quickly too, and researched, found TSM, and stuck to it.
I was not a success and it took months to see any change. I also wasn't truly trying, hoping it was a magic pill as I've seen it literally described. Then I exerted my mind and real effort (measuring, timing) when at home. Out it's much easier to count drinks (my wallet does that, ha.)
The pill made me feel less buzzed so I wound up thinking I was more sober than I was and got a DUI. My friends I used to drive buzzed a lot so I can't blame it on Nal, just dangerous foolishness and disregard really.
I have substantially cut down my consumption sticking to TSM, but now I'm in a real test that I think has proved to me it does work for me (I was convinced after a year still no AF days it wouldn't work.)
I'm on 24 days of home jail (after 6 days of real jail in conditions indescribable and heartbreaking - the opioid epidemic is brutally real in there) and I am breathalyzed morning and night. In the day gap one could feasibly drink a bit and be .0 by night, same night to morning. No way can you get to.08 and get it to .0 though.
So I've a few times with TSM after last test had a glass, or 2 small, of wine. I've worked in the industry for years so that's my drink of drinks.
Amazingly, I've had no issue stopping there. I enjoyed the taste and ritual and that's it. I am happy yet also worried that I just used the word "ritual." Drinking is deeply entrenched in my psychology in certain ways and with certain triggers. That's going to be hard work.
I have alcohol in the house and it doesn't even bother me. Like a "normal" person. I do get cravings at wine o'clock but I stay busy. At my worst I was drinking at least something when I woke up to avoid withdrawals. I drank at anytime basically. Working from home in the pandemic was no holds barred on that. It took forced sobriety to make me realize: it has finally worked for me.
Best wishes to everyone on their journey (or climb if you're like me) but it's worth it. Maybe I'll never reach full extinction but this is huge for me, feeling better, and yes, I'll take it! Thanks for a year of ins
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