It's a gilt-E pleasure.
Because they are crafty.
I agonized over the choice before realizing it was quite simple.
but of course, bose before hose!
Orchid
Philately will get you nowhere
Who knew artery could be so relaxing.
...until my mom hid the urn from me.
He likes to raze hell
Man who has been going to the same bar for years tells his drinking buddies that he has decided to travel the world to view every farm tractor ever made. They all know his love for farm machinery and are quite relieved to be getting rid of him as he bores them half to death with his knowledge of tractors. 5 years later the man goes back to the bar after traveling the world seeing every tractor he could find. The barman looks at him and enquires as to why he looks so glum after achieving his life ambition, He explains that seeing every tractor has taken the shine off his hobby and he doesn't want or need to see anymore tractors. Just then there's a loud bang and the bar starts filling with smoke. Everyone is panicking except our man back from his travels who tells everyone to not panic and stand back, he then inhales all the smoke walks outside and blows all the smoke away. His buddies are amazed and ask how he managed to do this amazing feat, He explains. Simple I'm An Ex tractor fan.
Some selfishly thought minecraft was better than yarncraft.
He was too wrapped up in his work.
He says its like shooting fish in apparel.
...Because it’s in tents.
It requires a lot of monet.
It's easy to get carried away.
These are trying times.
He has way too much Thyme on his hands.
It's too time consuming.
Glad I found my Nietzsche niche
It really is a riot.
Try blindfold archery.
You don't know what you're missing!
They get very Inuit.
Craft Singles?
My daughter said the joke was cheesy and not very Gouda. :(
Yeah, I know. Pretty nuts?
It's opened so many doors for me!
Quill-ting
Did you hear about the magician who grabbed Eminem so hard his SnapBack fell off?
He pulled a rabbit out of his hat
What do you call a magician who is an administrator at a college, but nobody knows what students he is in charge of?
Whose dean’s he?
A magician went out to the store and bought a big metal structure so he could hang upside down and do situps. He also loved painting, but because of his style he often knocked the canvas around while dabbing on the paint. So he bought another, wooden structure, like an easel, but with clamps to hold the painting in place while he prodded it with the paintbrush. His wife asked, as he brought them in, what the hell he had just bought. He replied:
“Ab rack and dab rack”
What do you call a magician with very skinny fingers?
Slight of hand
The magician’s wife brought him to the store to buy gifts for a birthday party. She picked out a lovely candle, but wanted to include a nice note. The magician knew just what to do. He brought her down an aisle, found a section marked “birthday,” and said:
“Pick a card, any card”
The Russian magician, in 1932, found an amazing new piece for his act: a giant, wooden sarcophagus in the shape of a beautiful woman. The piece had giant, metal blades inside at waist level. They were locked in place while it was open, but retracted as it closed, making it seem as though the magician had escaped death. But one day, while he was practicing, the great sarcophagus fell over - door still open - right on the magician. When he was found, he was cut right in two. Moral of the story:
In Soviet Russia, box woman saws you.
Okay that’s it. I’m so sorry, I have nothing better to do.
You could say it's my maison d'être.
He says it's a fun way to kill time.
I'm going to dye a loan.
I wasn’t supposed to use fowl language.
...and making the matching teacups!
The neighbours said that they will call the cops if I don’t put it back.
You may be having an exit-stencil crisis.
Shit. Wrong thread.
Can't see it taking off.
It's illegal to DINK and dive.
When I am bored, it helps the time fly by.
My neighbors are threatening to call the cops if I don’t stop.
... are you just a grammer?
He likes to call it "shooting fish in apparel"
...the one thing I actually look forward to when we go to Hobby Lobby is the moment we're walking through the store, I try to keep a perfectly straight face and act like I have a genuine interest in something on the shelf, I reach up and I say something like, "Oh, look at this nice little Stool sample!"
(Not really a joke, but a true dad joke recurring scenario of mine)
I have a grate thyme.
Fit'ness donut in my mouth
