A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...
Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!
your mom secretly told me that you were born on a highway
....that's where most accidents happen
A group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use old Legos to re-pave their highways...
...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.
Which lane on the highway is the fastest?
The one you’re not in!
( written by my dad , late 90s)
Highway is full of Origami vehicles this evening...
Traffic is described as being stationery...
What is an appropriate age to tell my highway it's adopted?
I feel like the 66 route is a little late
I just got hired to work a booth on the highway.
They say this job really takes a toll
A truck overturned this morning spilling cabbage all over the highway.
It was horrific! I slaw it happen!
I’m tired of spending money on highway booths during long drives.
It really takes its toll on me.
A truck ahead of me spilled its load of cabbage all over the highway...
Highway disaster
My step son asked me if I was born on the highway because that’s where most accidents happen....he’s 11....
TIL about the big pile ups on the Cretaceous highway.
They were tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Cutting in front of a Volkswagen on the highway
What do you call tiny dead crustaceans on the highway?
Roadkrill.
(My eight-year-old came up with this one all on his own.)
A man on the side of the highway is running around in his underwear...
A car pulls over and the man stops to see why.
“Why are you in your underwear?” The person in the car asks
“Well, you are too, you just have clothes on over them.”
[On the highway] My wife: Hey, you missed a right!
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!
Two dogs were walking down an empty highway. One of them stopped and defecated in the middle of the road.
When he was finished, he looked at the other dog and said, “Clean up that mess.”
The other dog sniffed the pile and said, “Nope. That’s your asphalt!”
Did you hear about the highway being built by the college in New Orleans?
HEADLINE: Vermont man arrested for throwing pickle from moving vehicle, striking a highway worker...
It wasn't a Vlasic case of road rage, but it's still Claussen quite a commotion.
The police pulled up right next to me and my Yamaha on the shoulder of the highway today…
Apparently, it’s not the best place to play a keyboard…
What do you call a sandwich that's eaten while driving on a highway?
They're guaranteed to help you ketchup on the highway
I'm not sure why the highway was arrested ...
... but I bet it was his own dumb asphalt.
A truck carrying Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
I had a job clearing litter off the highways...
but I got laid off, even though the work was picking up.
Why was musician's car parked on the side of a highway?
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway, spilling everything.
Police are combing the area.
I don’t like driving on highways or bridges,
A truck full of donkeys passed me on the highway
He was really hauling ass.
The guy who paints the center line down the highway came into my deli for a quick bite...
A truckload of doorframe parts spilled out on the highway during rush hour...
It caused a big traffic jamb.
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.
Police are still combing the area.
Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.
"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"
Did you hear about the truckload of pickles that overturned on the highway...
I dunno what the dill is... details are sketchy. I relish any comments with more info about this incident.
What do you call a California Highway Patrol Officer with a can of Skoal?
Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed on the highway?
I was driving on the highway when I passed an AA van driver who was sobbing uncontrollably.
I thought, “This guy’s heading for a breakdown.”
We were driving through Quebec when my wife commented on how cool it was that the highway signs were in two languages, English and French.
I said, "well, it's still all just written in sign language"
How did the Targaryens get off the highway?
An 18-wheeler filled with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway today.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours!
I was driving on the highway and the wife said "You missed a right"
And I said "Thanks babe, and you're Mrs Right"
[On the highway] Her: Hey, I think you missed a right.
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!
When's the best age to tell a highway it's adopted?
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway,spilling everything
Police are combing the area
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