High Heels Puns

I call it drag racing.

...and since I directly fell in love with them, I had to send a photo of me wearing them to some friends and somehow also my to dad.

I got responses like "You look hot" or "So sexy!".

My dad's response: "You must be so tall wearing them. I guess I know who's getting a helmet for christmas!"

Her: "she's too young for heels, like where's she going to wear them?" Me: "on her feet"

Dairy Queen...

A shoe horn

But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha

I still can't believe the guy in high heels won.

I got my wife with a rather unexpected dad joke last night.

I generally don't like surprises, with only a few exceptions. Last night, I come into the bedroom and she is wearing a white corset, matching panties, knee high socks, and high heels.

She asks "Is this the kind of surprise you might like?"

I respond with a big dumb grin on my face, "Of 'corset' is!"

It almost cost me a fun night, but it was worth it.

Sitting in the living room talking about the appeal of nascar with the family when my step mother said she liked the drag races more. Without missing a beat I popped off with: I've never understood the appeal of watching grown men in high heels running down the street.

It was the best part of my day to watch everyone in the room pause, turn slowly toward me and groan loudly

Because they have high heels.

My sister posted about loving my little ponies, and we got on the topic of rainbow horse poop jokes. My dad just pops in with this:

Dad - I can't think of one right now. I do, however, have a poem that is somewhat related: (first assume standard high-class poetry recitation position; head high, chest out, hands clasped behind back, heels together, toes @ 180 degrees, knees slightly bent): "In days of old, when knights were bold, and toilets weren't invented; they left their load beside the road, and went away contented."

I was wearing high heels, which is unusual for me, and talking with two friends when I said, "Hey [Friend 1], I'm almost taller than you!" (I'm a shorty, 5'2")

Friend 2, "Nah Brunchy you still have a lot to go"

Me, "Well then these heels are pointless."

Friend 1, "Yeah they have a rounded front."

She's going to be a fantastic dad one day.

I was walking with my daughter in Paris, dressed up after going to her sister's graduation. "These high-heels are killing me," she complained.

"Take them off," I suggested.

"i don't want to get, I don't know, France-tetanus."

"Yeah, that and... Paris-ites."

True story.