To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?
Ain’t nothing but a heart break
"I love you from my heart to-ma-toes"
Heart transplant is a really heart touching surgery
A guy told me the size of my heart matters more than my physical size.
Good thing I went to the cardiologist before the gym.
I would like to see a heart attack
There was a post about a teen holding his own heart in his hands after a heart transplant, I thought these comments belonged here
What vegetable lives in your heart?
My girlfriend that I loved with all my heart left me while I was in the bathroom screaming with constipation.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
During an autopsy, why are the heart, kidneys, liver and lungs arranged alphabetically?
My Grandfather has the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
Dad has a heart attack
Dad:has a heart attack
Dad:Call me an ambulance...
Son: uhhh... You're an ambulance....
Dad:....
Dad: That's my boy...dead
You want to know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
COVID-19 can cause damage to the brain, heart, and lungs.
Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
My horoscope said my heart would be broken in 12 years time.
So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up !
My dad is going through heart failure, and the first text that I get from him after sending him a card says:
“No more corny jokes, now just corn-orary jokes”
I’m glad he still has his sense of humor through these tough times
My mate Gav sadly passed away this morning. Doctors say it was severe heart burn.
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said “that gave me a heart attack!”
I told him “actually that was a stroke”
My dad had a failing heart and refused to get surgery.
But in the end, he had a change of heart.
A sailor wrote a book about how to win a woman’s heart
It’s called “The Art of Seaduction”
I could never become a heart surgeon. Why?
I wouldn’t have the heart to do it
My friend created an artificial heart from stuff he got from a mine and an old pistol...
The heart is a vital ore-gun.
Her: Be mean to me. [heart eyes emoji] Him: You're average.
I stole this girl's heart
I was arrested shortly after for murder
Please accept my Heart Felt thanks.
Why should people with heart disease avoid sleeping outdoors?
Because camping is in tents.
When’s the worst time to have a heart attack?
During a game of cherades
What do you call it when a DJ get's a heart attack?
My grandfather had the heart of a lion
And a permanent ban from the nearby zoo
The only way to kill a French vampire is to slowly drive a baguette through its heart.
The process is a little painstaking.
I have the eye of a tiger and the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
My grandpa has the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
My grandfather has the heart of a lion...
...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.
My old grandad has the heart of a lion.
And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My horoscope told me I was going to be heart broken in 12 years
So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up
I have the heart of a lion…
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
My son has the heart of a lion....
And a lifetime ban from the zoo!
My brother has the heart of a lion.
And a lifetime ban at the San Diego Zoo.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion...
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
Son: *having a heart attack* dad, call me an ambulance
Dad: okay, you're an ambulance
Only way to kill a French vampire is to stab it in its heart with a baguette.
But the whole damn process is painstaking.
I have the heart of a lion.
And a lifetime ban from London Zoo.
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![Her: Be mean to me. [heart eyes emoji] Him: You're average.](https://i.redd.it/flqsfk21c8d51.jpg){kind=link}