“Sorry Harry, unfortunately we have to cancel your Vietnamese food delivery”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Pho Nix.
What is Harry Potters favorite breakfast?
Why did Dumbledore almost suck Harry Potter's soul?
Because he was dementor (the mentor).
What deodorant does Harry Potter wear?
Ex-smelly-arMpits
As inspired by a three year old who couldn't say Expelliarmus - the charm that makes whatever your opponents holding fly out of their hand - usually their wand.
Joe Biden and Kamala Harris go out for a morning run together
Kamala finishes in just under twelve minutes and Joe is already waiting for her at the finish line.
"How'd you do?" she asks him.
"I finished in 10 minutes and 46 seconds. That's got to be a new record among Presidents, right?"
"No" Kamala replies. "Bush did 9:11".
What do you get when you watch ' you've got mail", " steel magnolias", and " when Harry met sally"?
Harry Potter can’t tell the difference between his potions’ pot and his best mate
Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend
Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV
All the Harry Potter movies should have been rated R.
I think Harry would like an order of wings right about now...
How does harry potter get down a hill?
This guy told me he was Harry Potter’s godfather. I thought he was messing with me.
He told me he was Sirius.
The campaign to elect Kamala Harris as Vice President
...was the most ex-pence-ive in history.
What's Harry Potter's author's favorite way of getting down a hill? Walking.
It would’ve been really dark if, when Snape was dying, Harry had said “now you’re really the half-blood prince”.
Because he only had half his blood left
Bought some discounted Harry Potter DVDs...
What does Harry Truman call cats?
Weapons of mouse destruction.
A harry potter joke.
Student: Ah Sh*t, I used the wrong ingredients...
Horace Slughorn: *gasp* do not use such vial language in this classroom!!
I taught my kid to speed read today. He read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone in 3 hours!
I know its only 6 words.. but its a start!
Have you seen where Harry Potter’s magical wand was made? If you look closely, it says:
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.
The fifth one was dead sirius.
Harry Potter could be a great mafia boss
He always catches the snitch
What do you call a snake that works for the government?
What Ernest Hemingway novel sees Harry Morgan lose an arm?
Harry Houdini was allergic to the metal they used to make handcuffs...
Every time they put a pair on him, he'd break out.
How does Harry Potter makeout with the delivery lady?
The Harry Potter films were really good, but I think nearly headless Nick was poorly executed
Rick Harris hooked up with this girl using his brother Neil's pick-up line...
The questions is, will Neil Patrick Harris on the back?
How does Harry Potter go down a hill?
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were fighting once when Draco decided to curse Harry with a Hair Growing Spell that grows hair instantly. Ron passed by and said:
When asked where his two new brooms were from, Harry Potter replied:
From the bargain store down on Diagon Alley, they were a Quidditch.
Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate?
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
By walking!.... JK ROLLING!
Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.
But the fifth one— dead Sirius.
How does Harry Potter like to get to the bottom of a hill? Walking
Why couldn't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cookpot and his best friend?
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