What's a gymnastic stoner's favorite?

tumbleweed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinrhurst
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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what's a mathematicians favourite gymnastic move?

a sum-mersault

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eddotcom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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There was some controversy in the sports world this week, when they allowed some athletes to try out for the Olympic gymnastics team more than once

I thought it was just revaulting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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A Prague-based trampoline gymnastics coach was just arrested for fraud!

Apparently, he bounced a great many Czechs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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Why do bananas like gymnastics?

They like to do splits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Ultimate
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
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Went to daughters Gymnastics event and was expecting Shock and Awe.

All I saw though was Awe Shucks...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwmountainman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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How did the gymnast banana injure itself?

By doing the splits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rossdabose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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What does a cannibal call a gymnast?

A well balanced breakfast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingsquidington
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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What Disney princess do gymnasts all love?

Ariel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What happened to the alcoholic gymnast?

They were prone to rolling blackouts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCochMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Did you hear about the professional bowler who was also a gymnast?

She did splits well!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I would tell you a pun about gymnasts, but...

It’s a bit of a stretch...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboiBungle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Did you hear about the gymnast with narcolepsy

He’s slept on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breno1015
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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Gymnasts make really accomodating girlfriends.

They’ll bend over backwards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielpauljohns
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?

Cause they tumble dry...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamSchrute25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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Was the gymnast born loose and limber?

No, he was taut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slawthe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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What kind of phone does an Olympic Gymnast use?

A flip phone!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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What do you call A Scottish gymnast?

A tumbling tumble-tweed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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My local paper published an article about a gymnast who was dropped as a customer of our local bank.

She had outstanding balance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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Why do gymnasts never season their food in the winter?

Because they only like summer salts.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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A gymnast walks into a bar

"ouch"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wabahoo_on_you
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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What do you call a mentally handicapped young male gymnast born on August 1st?

A leotard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/False_Grit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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The dedication of Olympic gymnasts amazes me.

They really bend over backwards for their country.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/purrhams_hat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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What do you call a gymnast that can't read well?

Dysflexic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joelnodxd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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US Gymnast Christopher Brooks is suspended
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DulceyDooner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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I went on a date once with a gymnast.

I thought she’d be head-over-heels but she flipped out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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When I was young I wanted to be a Gymnast

But you had to practically bend over backwards for the class instructor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHipHopSupaFly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
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If a smart gymnast does a somersault, what does a dumb gymnast do?

An imbesault

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JRR____Tokin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Adobe Acrobat Reader
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HarlemShakespeare
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
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Adobe Acrobat reader
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marco_Memes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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My son came out to me as gay and I flipped.

He was surprised of my gymnastics skills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchaneFF
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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What type of shoes...

Did the ninja wear, sneakers. Did the hippie wear, high heels. Did the gymnast wear, flip flops. Did the pornstar wear, pumps. Did the server wear, waders. Did the Yogi wear, none he has bear feet, Boo Boo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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FWD: Fwd: FWD FWD: Fwd: Emails from Dad

MAN LAWS

The International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

(c) After wrecking your boss' car.

(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CampConcentration
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
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Why don’t gymnasts use towels?

Cause they tumble dry...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamSchrute25
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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