Gruesomeness Puns

Witnesses say the driver just lost his train of thought

Apparently, the baconator.

He really shouldn’t have gone to the I-Fell Tower

I’ve been wearing a mask and eating candy for 14 months...

“My how you gruesome”

Because they gruesome.

The girl asks, “is it true that there’s nothing under that kilt of yours?” The Scotsman replies, “why don’t you reach under and see for yourself?” The girl reaches under his kilt and quickly removes her hand. “Dear god, that’s gruesome!”

The Scotsman replied back “Aye, and if you reach up under there again, you’ll see it’s gruesome more.”

He gruesome

Gruesome plants, man.

His response every time was, "Yeah you're gruesome."

There was a Scottish man wearing a kilt and a curious girl who kept asking the man what was under his kilt, finally after the constant pestering the man lifted his kilt.

Girl: Oh god that's gruesome

Man: Do you want to see it again? I think it gruesome-more.

Oh god why pop why?

I'd say, "Dad, I'm gonna go take a shower!" His response, "Why? Is one missing?"

My dad taught me early on that the phrase je t'adore in French translates to I love you. He also mentioned that je t'adore sounds (a little bit) like shut the door if you said it kinda quickly. So anytime someone tells my dad to "shut the door" he'd respond with, "I love you too!"

Not technically my dad, but still a dad. Every time my grandpa came to town when I was a kid after not seeing me for a little while, without fail, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Look at you, you gruesome child! You know, you grew some, child." I think the fact that he explained it every time was what really irked me.

Last time my dad knocked over his soda and it spilled all over his lap he immediately looked up at me grinning, "Well I guess drinks are on me tonight!"

Coworkers at lunch were talking about gruesome car accidents. I chimed in with a story of a man whose had to have amputated his entire left side. They looked at me in horror as I barely managed to squeak out "He's all right now" before laughing until I cried...

Edit: I can't word

For some background, he is a fire chief and has his share of gruesome stories.

Him, "Did you hear about the kid who got hit by the train?" (Some tracks run by our neighborhood.)

Me, "No, that's awful. When did that happen?"

Him, "Earlier this week. It happens all the time. Their eyes are always blue..."

Me, "Why are their eyes blue?"

His teenage daughter, rolling her eyes, "One blew this way, one blew the other way."

We were watching Criminal Minds and there was a woman who had her head ripped off by a barbed wire noose and a car. My mom flipped over it, because it was rather gruesome, and I looked over and said "damn, she really lost her head on that one."

Mother wasn't impressed.