A tourist who visited France died a gruesome death

He really shouldn’t have gone to the I-Fell Tower

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWolf2604
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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Ronald McDonald and The Burger King were horrified when they heard the news about Wendy's gruesome demise.

Apparently, the baconator.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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Why do people become more and more horrible as they grow taller?

Because they gruesome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MohtarmaGandhi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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A Scotsman stumbles out of the bar and as he is walking down the street, he walks past a girl.

The girl asks, β€œis it true that there’s nothing under that kilt of yours?” The Scotsman replies, β€œwhy don’t you reach under and see for yourself?” The girl reaches under his kilt and quickly removes her hand. β€œDear god, that’s gruesome!”

The Scotsman replied back β€œAye, and if you reach up under there again, you’ll see it’s gruesome more.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jetmover78
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Did you hear about the horror-movie inspired horticulturist?

Gruesome plants, man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gahvandure2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Did you hear about the drug dealer who ran out of pot?

He gruesome

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/Marty_A
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
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As a kid I'd always ask my dad, "Have I gotten taller?"

His response every time was, "Yeah you're gruesome."

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ‘€︎ u/F1F2F3F4F5F6F7F8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
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This past father's day my pop came out with this

There was a Scottish man wearing a kilt and a curious girl who kept asking the man what was under his kilt, finally after the constant pestering the man lifted his kilt.

Girl: Oh god that's gruesome

Man: Do you want to see it again? I think it gruesome-more.

Oh god why pop why?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coldspagheti
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
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Is it bad form to laugh at your own jokes?

Coworkers at lunch were talking about gruesome car accidents. I chimed in with a story of a man whose had to have amputated his entire left side. They looked at me in horror as I barely managed to squeak out "He's all right now" before laughing until I cried...

Edit: I can't word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jotr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
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Always with that damn smirk

I'd say, "Dad, I'm gonna go take a shower!" His response, "Why? Is one missing?"

My dad taught me early on that the phrase je t'adore in French translates to I love you. He also mentioned that je t'adore sounds (a little bit) like shut the door if you said it kinda quickly. So anytime someone tells my dad to "shut the door" he'd respond with, "I love you too!"

Not technically my dad, but still a dad. Every time my grandpa came to town when I was a kid after not seeing me for a little while, without fail, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Look at you, you gruesome child! You know, you grew some, child." I think the fact that he explained it every time was what really irked me.

Last time my dad knocked over his soda and it spilled all over his lap he immediately looked up at me grinning, "Well I guess drinks are on me tonight!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dschiffm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2013
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My neighbor is the epitome of dad humor.

For some background, he is a fire chief and has his share of gruesome stories.

Him, "Did you hear about the kid who got hit by the train?" (Some tracks run by our neighborhood.)

Me, "No, that's awful. When did that happen?"

Him, "Earlier this week. It happens all the time. Their eyes are always blue..."

Me, "Why are their eyes blue?"

His teenage daughter, rolling her eyes, "One blew this way, one blew the other way."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TJtheV
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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Dad joked my mom

We were watching Criminal Minds and there was a woman who had her head ripped off by a barbed wire noose and a car. My mom flipped over it, because it was rather gruesome, and I looked over and said "damn, she really lost her head on that one."

Mother wasn't impressed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Draked1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2014
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