Grist Mill Puns

Commander: [[Grist, the Hunger Tide]]

Price: $49.06

Decklist: https://www.mtggoldfish.com/deck/4152440#paper

Comments:

Playing Grist feels like you're cheating.

Not because it's the next latest and greatest overpowered commander like Urza or Leovold. I mean it literally feels like playing it as a commander is exploiting a loophole. All the other planeswalkers who are able to be played as your commander say so on the card itself, whereas Grist says that it's a creature while it's not on the battlefield. This was clearly intended for Modern shenanigans, as it can be found with Collected Company and Chord of Calling. But it also has an unexpected boon: Grist is a legendary creature when it's not on the battlefield. Because of this, coupled with a few tweets from Matt Tabak and Sheldon Menery, we can officially play Grist as a commander!

...okay, but what does it do?

So... Grist can mill a card and make an insect, but if it mills an insect then you get to do it again. You can remove loyalty counters to get a [[Bone Splinters]] effect, but it's better than Bone Splinters because you don't have to spend mana and it can destroy planeswalkers. And the ultimate ability is to drain your opponents for each creature you have in the graveyard, which most likely consists of insects you put there using the first two effects. It's a planeswalker, so it synergizes with proliferate effects, and being a creature while not on the battlefield means you can reanimate it. Since it is a creature while on the stack, it cannot be countered by Negate, but it can be by Essence Scatter.

Great.

I wanted to write this primer for Grist because of its absurd synergy with what may be my favorite card of all-time: [[Gravepurge]]. Basically, you take any number of creatures in your graveyard, put one in your hand and the rest on the top of your library. Usually it's useful for setting up things like Beast Whisperer or Soul of the Harvest to refill the board quickly, but it is has absurd combo potential in Grist. Put all your insects on top of your deck, activate the plus ability, and you can make a ton of insects and give Grist a ton of loyalty counters. With your army of chump blockers, you then have the protection to activate Grist's drain ability several times, leading to massive life loss.

Ironically, despite running 40 creatures, t

For anyone not aware

I cannot unsee, and I have to assume it was done intentionally.

Grist, the Hunger Tide

Been one of those days.

Tried to pay a bill this morning, and my card was declined. Called the bank. Account had been flagged. Why?

You purchased a ring-tone last night. (I now hear “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac - more specifically, Stevie Nicks, whenever Momma calls me. Appropriate - Momma my Dream Girl. I Do dream about her. Most of them, won’t go into too much detail. Some days, every time I look at Her, I’m like “Good Lord!” - can’t believe the way she looks, and how lucky I am that She picked Me, against all logic and common sense. Told her so just today, in fact. Again. But I love Stevie almost as much. Momma knows. She’s cool with it).

But, anyway:

“Suspicious purchase. You never use it for that.”

“I Know, it’s my card, remember? But I did this time.”

“Account’s flagged.”

“Well, Unflag the sumbitch! I got bills to pay.”

“I’ll text you a code. Repeat it back to me. Just so we know you are you.”

Did so.

“The system’s not accepting it.”

“You mean the system is not accepting the code that the system itself just generated?”

“That appears to be the case. Let’s try again.”

Two more times. No go.

“I’m sending you a link. Take a photo of your driver’s license. Just so we’ll know you are you.”

“I know I’m me.”

“We have to verify.”

Sigh.......”Verify away.”

“The system is not accepting the license. It’s expired.”

“Of course it is! I just got it renewed, and am waiting for the new one! COVID, remember?”

“We can’t accept an expired license.”

“It has my picture on it, fer God’s sake, and all the pertinent information!”

“It’s expired.”

“But I’m still me!”

“I know, but - .”

“I know, I know - it’s expired. Ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“How come my account was flagged over a “suspicious” purchase of a dollar and twenty-nine damn cents that I authorized when unauthorized payments totaling five hundred and forty-five dollars were taken from my account, which you folks are still investigating, by the way, and no one caught That?”

“I’m sorry, Sir. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Well, fuck me sideways!”

“There’s no need for you to say that, Sir.”

“You’re right. Fuck You side - hello? Hello?!”

There went an hour, hour-and-a-half I can’t get back. Time to take the Doggo for his shot.

Had to set up an appointment. Was not informed that there would be a wait. There was. Place was Packed! COVID, remember? Everybody getting caught up.

Was late. By the time I got off the phone with the bank, I had just eno

Writing a novel set 17th century Zeeland, Netherlands, I'm curious what windspeed was necessary for a grist mill to function. Also, am I correct in my understanding that a smock mill would be used for producing flour?

First, how TF is Zak gonna leave Jay in the barn like that! Jay told Zak he was on the ground and disoriented and Zak was basically like yeah whatever I’m going to the school house to check on the checkers. And then they ended the episode without us even seeing what happened to Jay?!

Side note: Aaron’s energy about the gift shop and and running around like a little kid is what I loved the most about the episode.

Worst episode ever, clowning around the whole episode, caught shit evidence except the word "Bicycle" which they all thought was the most amazing and best EVP in the history of EVP's, they must have played it over a hundred times. Totally shit, drag out boring POS episode.

I just watched this episode, about the Mormon mill in Utah. The story about the little girl who drowned. When they first heard a child's voice, they couldn't tell what it said. I thought she said rape. Later, the guys heard her say they'll kill me. I had a feeling when they were reenacting her drowning that it wasn't accidental.