Greek God Puns

...but when I do, it's all about dead Pan delivery.

Apollogies.

Apollo

''I Apollo-gise''

The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”

His name was mediocretese.

I made a terrible mythake

He was the Don of Time itself!

A Chili’s Meal

An Apollo-jist

The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. That’s where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

For your bad puns about Greek gods

He was the Greek god of mispronounced words.

“Euripides?” says the tailor. “Yeah, Eumenides?” replies the man.

I am doing an extra credit project where I am making a "Date Me" page for the Greek god Zeus. Any puns (cheesy or not) are greatly appreciated. Thank you! :D

We were eating dinner and my brother was talking about an old high school teacher of his: "she called it herstory instead of history because she thought that the important parts of the past were about women instead of men."
Lightbulb.jpg
"So wait, does that mean she calls it a HERsterectomy instead of a HISterectomy?"

A beat goes by.

My dad broke the silence with "Ginganinja888, where did you get that from?"
Proudly grinning, I say, "I just came up with it."
Dad: "Oh God, even worse."

Unrelated notes

Calling it herstory is dumb because history actually stems from Greek and is in fact not a conspiracy to place men at the center of all important events.
I know I spelled hysterectomy wrong, it was to highlight the joke.

Me and my boss were killing time last night by pretending to talk like hillbillies when I busted out this gem: Me "What is a hillbilly's favorite kind of bread?" Boss "What?" Me "Inbread"

Que moans/laughter from the Greek Gods.

So my younger brother was talking about his Latin class and how on Fridays his teacher has culture friday, or a lesson on Greek Mythology. He was talking about the myth he learned about last week when my dad replied with this...

Brother: "Last week we learned about syphilis and how he pushes the rock up the hill again and again."

Dad: "I think you mean sisyphus, syphilis was a Greek god but he was a real dick."

I laughed, my mom groaned, and my brother sat there confused. A successful family dinner if you ask me.

I made my greek salad for dinner tonight.

Me: How did you find the salad?

Mom: Oh, it was just in the fridge.

Me: No, I me-- God dammit!

During dinner my dad got some of the thanksgiving turkey out of the fridge to munch on.

Dad: Cold turkey is good, right?

Mom and I: -_-

Both my parents are 2 years sober, my dad having done it cold turkey.