My fresh herbs will go bad soon
I want to make pesto but Iām running out of thyme.
My PE teacher told me I was so bad at golf that I should go to golf jail
It would be a shame if they putt me in there.
A guy wakes up from surgery. "How'd it go, Doc?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that we amputated the wrong leg...
The good news is that your other leg is all better."
I heard the ticks are really bad this year. If you go outside, be careful...
Unless you like your Corona with Lyme.
I used to upholster furniture for a living and hated it. My boss switched me to packing for a while then switched me back. I hate it so bad I have to go to a support group. Talking helps me to do the damned job.
I'm in recovery.
Wow i have to take onenote from that guy, made me laugh so bad i had to go to the DOC
If the moon is made of cheese, why doesn't it go bad?
Pasteuroids
Where do vegetable children go when they've been bad?
The CORN-er
"I dont know, it feels like the relationship was starting to go bad..."
"Did you go on an expiration date?"
What do you get when you go to a bad Mexican restaurant?
Poor flavor
It's bad to skip school to go out bungee jumping with your friends...
It'll get you suspended.
Dying because you ate bad chicken would be a very fowl way to go.
Where do bad forks go when they die?
Hell's Kitchen.
Where do bad puns go?
The Punitentiary
Today is a bad day to go get brunch.
Everyone and their mother is out today.
Daughter: "Does jello go bad?"
Dad: "It gets molded."
Credit to a friend who came up with this, and who took a minute to understand why I was laughing at his answer.
Thought I would share it with you bunch of fun guys.
Dad's go to for when he caught me doing something stupid/bad growing up
Dad: Yeah your brother [insert generic boys name X] did that once
Young naive me: I don't have a brother name X...
Dad: Well yeah not anymore!
Where does the bad light go?
To prism.
Where do bad airplanes go after they die?
They go to hell-icopter.
