Geniuses Puns

They’re Circum-Sized

Me: I don't now, what? Him: Thought you wouldn't

Sadly, his brother Frank was a monster.

He was outstanding in his field

True story: the wife and I were walking in Target this evening. We were walking in the clothing section, behind an employee who was moving a mannequin. Out of nowhere the whole arm pops off, and the poor woman can’t bend to pick it up because… ya know… she’s holding the rest of the mannequin. So I walk up, grab the limb while she’s looking around for another employee to help, hold it out to her and say…

“Here, let me give you a hand”

She took it. No laughter. My wife? Nothing. So I am posting here in the hopes that my genius will be appreciated. Keep getting those dad jokes in the wild, folks.

I asked him "What's two minus two?" He said nothing.

Find an atomic genius, copy his notes.

Diabetical.

The box says 2 - 4 years.

Because he always took life one step at a time

.....and not "griefcase."

He was a bit of a monster.

Credit: u/HugoZHackenbush2, here.

He had muffin better to do.

(My kid came up with this… I’m so darn proud!)

no pun Intendid

When it hits cuberty.

Don't worry about him. He ended up being all right.

6yo: Dad, what is duck tape for?

me: to fix ducks

6yo: why would you fix ducks???

me: because sometimes they get quacks in them

It definitely smarts

But his brother Frank was a real monster!

But his brother Frank was a monster.

but his brother Frank was a monster.

But his brother Frank was a monster.

But very few people know his brother Frank was a monster.

But his brother Frank was a real monster!

But his brother Frank was,a real monster

was a victim of identity theft.

Was a monster.

Was a monster!

But his brother Frank is a true monster

But very few people know his brother Frank was a monster.