A list of puns related to "Gemmed"
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place
It Taurus apart
How do you know if a man is ticklish? Just take 1 test-tickle.
Rubies, Diamonds, Emeralds, Opal, and Sapphire
A mooborn!
βWhy do aunts get all the glory? What about uncle-tiques?β
ππππππ
Found this gem on Twitter:
My pal, driving in fog, got pulled over. Cop says βWhat do we do when we encounter Mr Fog?β. My pal thinks βbetter humour himβ so says β We turn Mr Steering Wheel towards Mr Slow laneβ. Cop says βNo Sir, I said βWhat do we do when we encounter MIST OR FOG !β
Bond, Gems Bond.
I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
But lettuce romaine calm, help will turnip soon
The work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."
1 Β - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2Β Β - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3Β Β - Half the people you know are below average.
4Β Β - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6 Β - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7Β Β - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 Β - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9 Β - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.
25 - If at first, you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Me: "I need to call your insurance about breast pumps... see what they cover."
Husband: "Probably the boob."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, theyβre dead."
They Ceasar.
---
Crosspost from r/actuallesbians: https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/jys3ki/just_found_this_gem_on_facebook/
ββTouchΓ©, or not touchΓ©.β That is the question.β Thatβs Dadspeare.β
Thatβs a lot of pressure.
Emerald
Romaine calm, Iβm here for the carrots.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.