Need help in the garden? Can't carry all your tools? Get a happy dog!

The tail is a wagon!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Why did the garden tools break up?

Because the rake couldnt handle that his girlfriend was a hoe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mt105
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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What garden tool does every Hun use?

Atilla

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stooftheoof
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Going out of his way with garden tools to make a joke.

My dad brought a gardening hoe with us to my Grandma's house, just so she would ask why he brought one. My mom was there too. Grandma: "Why did you bring a hoe?" Dad: "She's not a hoe, she's my wife." (referring to my mom)

He seriously put a hoe in the trunk for the sole purpose of making a joke. He was very pleased with himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehnoko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2014
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Santa Claus announced that he’s giving everyone the same gardening tool for Christmas.

Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stchrysostom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My ex- rapper friend decided to stop his gardening business because he was really careless with his tools.

He has hoes in different area codes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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I see what you did there ( ͑❛ ΝœΚ– ͑❛)
πŸ‘︎ 619
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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My girlfriend really likes to cosplay as gardening tools.

Often, she's a hoe.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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I went out to my shed to find my gardening tools were flirting with other gardeners

These hoes ain't loyal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hasdog_willtravel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath....

After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals.

Many years passed by like that.

At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard.

With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory, took out a lemon, cut it in half, took it back to the man and gave it to him, who looked back to the priest with gratitude. However, the priest was curious. He asked:

  • Son, why do you need this half of a lemon? - with a fright on his face, and before the priest could have said a thing, he rushed out of the churchyard gate and took off.

A week later, around the same time, when the priest was leaving the church, he found himself in front of the same man in the churchyard. The man said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was surprised by the appearance of the man and his strange request. Of course he was good, went back to the rectory, and brought the half lemon. Placed it in the stranger’s hand and immediately he asked:

  • Here it is, my dear son, but please tell me why do you need this half a lemon? - the man was obviously frightened and immediately ran away but the priest was not sluggish either and ran after him. He wasn’t in a very good condition, he has never run so much and so fast before so he was out of breath by the end of the village, almost fainted. He thought the strange man might appear again next week, and it would be nice if he could keep up with him, so he spent his week working on his cardio. It turned out to be a good idea, because as he thought, the stranger entered the churchyard on Sunday. The priest didn’t even wait for the request, he was good, and brought the half lemon. He received these words from the man:

  • Thank you

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doty152
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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