A list of puns related to "Furthering"
Beacuse it was the end of the line
The Ex-Men.
"Dam"
It's me, father, I replied.
"No, I'm fairly certain it was my mother."
Credit to B.C. (comic strip), most likely paraphrased since I read it many a moon ago, though I'm fairly certain the punchline is very close to the original.
It was time for the prom at Klondike High School and Tim's friends were desperately trying to convince him to go. He considered it, but was very self-conscious of the fact that he had had an accident as a young child that caused him to lose his eye, and the best his family could afford was to buy him a wooden eye. After several days of goading, Tim finally decides to go.
Sally was in a similar situation. Her friends desperately wanted her to go prom with them, but she was recently in a car accident and lost her right leg. She had a prosthetic, but it was very uncomfortable, so she had a hard time walking. Reluctantly, she agreed to go.
It was the night of the prom and both Tim and Sally were getting all gussied up with their friends. They both make it to the prom, but when they arrive, they are both too nervous to dance. Tim's friends notice Sally sitting on the wall and say to him, "Look over there! There's a cute girl who's all alone and needs a partner to dance with. Why don't you go over there and ask her to dance?" After some further convincing, Tim sheepishly begins to walk over to Sally to ask her. As he approaches her, he getes nervous, and awkwardly stands in front of her for a few seconds before saying, "Wuh...wuh...would you like to dance with me?"
Excitedly, Sally exclaims, "Would I? Would I?"
Tim responds angrily, "PEG LEG! PEG LEG!"
and calling it Tailor Swift
...the further away my shoelaces become ?
He suffered from Electile dysfunction.
Sons of the Patreon
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorβs love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevorsβs degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevorβs front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnβt keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
βWellβ said Jeff, βAs Iβm sure you know the convention comes to town laterβ.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
βYes of courseβ replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit β‘But upon further consideration he was gladiator.
Someone holding the door for you.
...fundarnmental_ePuns are here. (https://www.reddit.com/r/Fundarnmental_ePuns/) Now you can submit all the willy wittiest photos wordplay for all the world to see!!
This looked like a good place to x-link this, hope I don't get punished for it...
..Discus
The doctor said the tumor was B9
He said Iβd be near-sighted until further notice
If they don't fix it, further steps will be taken
While they are walking it starts to precipitate. The man insists that it is raining, but his wife, who has only ever lived further up north where it can only snow, thinks that it is some weird form of snow. They spend a few minutes trying to convince each other before the man says βletβs ask Officer Rudolf, heβs a very smart man!β So they stop and say βOfficer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?β Officer Rudolf confirms that it is raining, and the couple continues to stroll. Later the wife asks how he knew Officer Rudolf could answer them. The man simply replies, βbecause Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear.β
Let me know if I should stop this joke or break it down further
Me: I hope there is a lot of ado.
Wife: Huh?
MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....
Me: Shit.
I thought I had found it, but it was a fossil arm. Then upon searching the site further, I found a petrified sausage. It was the missing link.
The tennis player admitted, and they seem to be on track for a smooth resolution. Upon being interviewed, the coach said: βI would have escalated this further, but he's a valuable student with a great arm, and I trust that there is no need for a wrist training order.β
Everyone knows the Pythagorean theorem, but few people know that Pythagoras was an avid and accomplished explorer who visited the new world before the Vikings or Columbus ever laid eyes on the continent. On one of his early visits he encountered a village and happened upon a woman, heavily pregnant sitting on the hide of a bear. He asked her what she was doing and she told him that she wanted to give birth on the hide so that her child would have the strength of a bear when he was born. As he walked further into the main part of the village he saw another woman, again quite pregnant sitting on the hide of a deer. When asked she replied that she wanted her child to have the grace and agility of a deer. Seeing a trend he was taken aback when he saw a very pregnant woman sitting on the hide of a hippopotamus. Surprised both at the choice and at the existence of such a creature, he wondered what she must wish for her child, but she replied that there just werenβt any other hides available for her so she took what she could get.
Many years later when he returned to the same village, he encountered the first woman and asked about her child. Was he as strong as a bear? She pointed him out and sure enough, her son was busy ripping a stump out of the ground with his hands, as strong as a bear! Amazed, he sought out the second woman, who pointed out her son, running through a field at great speed, as graceful and agile as a deer! Intrigued to say the least, Pythagoras sought the third woman. She pointed out her son, and he didnβt believe his eyes - he was both as strong as a bear and as graceful as a deer; a mountain of a man with grace and poise.
He wrote in his now-famous travel journal his amazing discovery; that the sons of the squaws on the two smaller hides are equal to that of the squaw on the hippopotamus.
But after further investigation the battery was not charged and the firework was let off.
Chester, the defendant, stood in front of the judge's imposing bench, waiting patiently for the reason why he was there. To further muddle the moment, he stared at items unfamiliar to him, at least in that context.
Perched on and near His Honor's desk were the following: A DuraLast Ultra in one car with a long, black cord stretching to another car, several alkaline D cells plugged into a black box, and lastly, a cell phone with its cord sticking into the wall.
Finally removing Chester's questioned look was his attorney leaning into his ear to whisper, "It's official, now: You're facing battery charges."
So this just happened.
My dad walked into my room, said "So you think you can take on your old man," doing an exaggerated impression of a bad lip sync, threw a toy throwing star at me, and left. I have no further explanation.
He said, "Dad, the fish just aint biting here, can't we go out a little further?"
I looked sternly at him and responded, "Son, catching fish in deep waters is eel-advised."
A quaint little men's class,
a few with class,
some smelling of a gin glass,
some with eyes of a lass,
the remainder eyeing a lad,
but all glad,
and all present,
youngster of the present,
bearders of the crescent,
readers new testaments,
preachers of old testaments,
bearers of saffron tenets,
wearers of white tints,
weird lovers of croissant,
well, all here, will all hear?
we never know,
lets look at the show
The English teacher, said,
"how to drink a juice?"
i know, said bart the bartender,
"with vodka and chicken tender"
the weirded beardo now angry,
showed he was a shouter,
wanted to be a bart-ender,
while shushing the crowd,
use a pipe, piped up a voice, loud,
"huh" exclaimed preacher pastor,
"no smoking" he said, showing a guilty fluster ,
"no sir" said the voice,
I'm extra maker,
spoke the voice quicker,
Mr.White scratching head,
"I'm an ex-straw maker",
the air cleared.
Proceeding further, Teacher continued,
the class was listening, eyes glued,
"etiquette is important" he said,
"wear napkin before eating",
their faces changed,
pulse now beating,
Mr.White said, "sir, we don't bleed",
an irritated saffron Sundar spoke,
"if you bleed, education you don't need"
the English sir, now a sundered bloke,
calmed the masked fish market,
as his God's fate chisel hammered,
"Do you know how to fork?" he stammered,
a brief silence, and too many whispers later
"I Pen is use sir", said a bright face,
"Do you know how to use a fork?" he corrected,
with damage now done, Silence resumed.
>ThePundits
A newly married couple were confused on how to spend their honeymoon , the husband wanted to go to Australia first but the wife wanted to go to TIC TAC world(coz fuck logic). Upon further debate they ended on going to australia first because the husband thought the sequence was authentic.
Thank God the situation didn't Escalade any further!
Sherlock says look up watson, what do you see? Wayson says, stars. Dedeuce says sherlock. Well therer's millions of them replies watson. deduece further demands sherlock! well a lot of them are galaxies, and if I do the math, there must be life around least one of them, replies watson.
And more asks sherlock?
Well if there is life around at least one star, it stands to reason that there is intelligence up there, says watson.
That's great replies sherlock, but you never noticed that someone has stolen our fucking tent.
Well, upon further consideration, maybe that yolk's two eyebrow.
>Do you know where the smartest and most reasonable people work? > At the US mint, because all they do is make cents!
I thought it was over and then two minutes further into the lecture.... >Do you know where else really smart and reasonable people work? > At a perfume factory! All they do is make scents!
Now I am just sitting here posting this and trying to think of more puns...
Her: Huh?
MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....
Me: Shit.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.