It’s called The Greatest Snowman.
Every part he made had a “bbbbrrrrrrrrr” in it!
I felt a little out of the loop on that one
I'm a frostitute
He got cold feet.
That’s snowbody’s business
Depending on the day, I might even drink the whole weizen.
Now, he’s an abdominal snowman
Picking his nose!
Frostbite
The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him “This is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.” He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining “jingle bells” in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. “Rudolph” “Frosty the Snowman” “Drummer Boy” even “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in the best impersonations he’s ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. “ No no honey this works watch” he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. “NO honey it really works watch!” “Im going to bed, Merry Christmas” says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. “WAIT Honey, one more time, please!” He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out “CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE”
Netflix and chill.
The Greatest Snowman
Because he bites.
He was picking his nose.
He was picking his nose.
(My dad literally just told this at Christmas dinner...)
The dude is totally chill.
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
Frosties.
So proud.
Jacked Frost
Frosty's full and undivided attention!
Because it needed a P break
as she opens the front door to leave for work
Her - Oh no! It's frosty!
Me - Oh no! What is a snowman doing in our front yard!?
she rolled her eyes and walked out
Her: "Is that frost, or snow, outside?"
Me: "It's Frosty Notsnowman"
groan
Three strings walk into a bar. The first string goes up to the bartender and says,
"Hello, I'd like a pitcher of beer and three frosty glasses for me and my buddies, please."
The bartender replies,
"Sorry pal, but we don't serve strings here."
Dejected, the first string returns to his friends and relays the transaction. The second string can't believe this, and walks swiftly up to the bartender and says,
"Hey, buddy. I need a pitcher of beer and three frosty glasses for me and my friends!"
The bartender sternly states,
"We don't serve strings here!" The second string returns to his friends, defeated. The third string looks at his pals and says,
"Guys, I got this."
He goes into the bathroom, unravels himself a little and tangles himself up a bit. He walks confidently up to the bartender and says with gusto,
"Bartender! You are going to give me and my friends a pitcher of your finest beer, and three frosty glasses, on the double!"
The bartender sighs and says,
"Like I told your buddies, WE DON'T SERVE STRINGS HERE."
The third string leans across the bar, chuckles, and says,
"String? I'm a frayed knot."
In a snow bank
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
