The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
What did the guinea pig say to the hamster before leaving work on Friday?
Every Friday for dinner, I make everything deep fried
I know it's Friday the 13th and COVID is raging, but...
Why did the naked guy go Black Friday shopping?
Because the underpants were a 100% off.
Friday was roasting saturday and sunday brutally yet they never occurred a word. Wednesday, being a harmonist, asked them why they stayed mum for which they replied, "because we are weakened in front of you guys".
Monday: Greg. Tuesday: Ian: Wednesday: Greg. Thursday: Ian. Friday: Greg
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...
With friends like that, who needs anemones?
My coworker told us this dadjoke on Friday
If I catch the Corona Virus, I hope I get Lyme Disease too.
Corona just isn't the same without a lime.
What kind of birds only appear on Friday the 13th?
It’s the end of work on Friday, it’s been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.
What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?
Where does Friday come before Thursday?
Have you noticed that after every Friday the 13th
Comes a Saturday the 14th?
What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?
I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said how flexible are you? I said I can’t do Fridays.
Who had the hottest Black Friday deals this year?
The actor that played Luke on the Disney channel original TV show “Jessie” died the day after Friday
So Saturday’s really are for the Boyce
I think everyone should be a little more understanding this Friday.
After all, all conversations will end on a 10-4.
I thought Friday is a sad day.
Turns out tomorrow is sadder day.
Bf is on leave Friday from the navy, need navy sex pun!
TL;DR need sex pun related to the navy!
Hey everyone! My boyfriend is coming back on leave from the navy this Friday. I am making a sign to welcome him home. I need a sex pun related to the navy. One's like "put your ship in my harbor". Thanks in advance!
Hope everyone had a GOOD Friday!
Friday the 13th may be scary.
But may, May Fri 10 you more.
"So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss.
"That is correct," I replied.
He said, "Would you be able to work outside those hours?"
I said, "No, I might catch a cold."
A string is walking home one Friday evening after a long week at work
And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new sign on the door that reads " No Strings Allowed".
The string becomes infuriated. "How dare they" he thinks to himself. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan.
He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to be discreet. While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer.
The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is. He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two pints of beer before going home to retire for the weekend.
It is just at that point when the bartender is serving him his second pint that he pauses and looks at the string and says "Hold on one minute! Aren't you a string?"
To which the string replied, "Sorry, I'm a frayed knot".
A cowboy rides into town on Friday. Stays three days and leaves on Friday. How did he do it?
The horse’s name is Friday.
The boat shop was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year.
It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.
Make sure to visit the tire store on black Friday.
They always have a blowout!
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?
“Make queso, number one.”
Today is a Good Friday
But Jesus will comeback Sunday
(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)
Its the Gregorian calendar
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Oh.... those were the days....
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Ah. Those were the days....
Good Friday is a sad day
And tomorrow is a Saturday
I hope everyone here has a good Friday!
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