IT'S THE F.B PIE
When you ask your dad if he’s alright: “no, I’m half left.”
I said "No, it doesn't".
No because the house can't fricking jump.
You're still using fowl language.
Australia got fired.
Running, JK Rowling
https://twitter.com/ultimateshtpstr/status/1117149591273521152?s=21
My wife said, “Use the fricking spoon. You are not a Jedi.”
Frick, that's what I like to hear
Because there‘s a lot of FRICK-tion
Grandma: It’s driving me up the fricking wall.
Well, the real estate agent sold this place to me as being somewhere "you can hear a pin drop".
And that's how I ended up buying the apartment right above a fricking bowling alley.
My mom used to say “Use the fricking spoon! You aren’t a Jedi.”
For as long I can think of, anytime I would take my family out for supper at a restaurant, when our server would bring us the check I would in my best calm and collected demeanor advise our server "Oh table #?? said they were picking this up for us tonight", to which most servers just give a ya right smile or a simple haha nice try sir.
Well on this most recent adventure I see the check coming and get all primed and plot it all out. The server politely slides the check to me, I so graciously put my hand on it and slide it back with my recited lines delivered so perfectly "Oh yes I should have told you sooner that table 16 has offered to pick up the check tonight". Well our server burst out laughing, which to us was a surprise as its not as hilarious as she is now making it. Well when she finally stops laughing enough to talk, she so wonderfully delivers the message, "thats good to know sir - cause your sitting at table 16!"
Jokes on me! But it made for a great night of laugh at dad.
Edit - "demeanor" - where the frick was auto correct on that one. thx Enders!
