I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesnβt take quarters.
π︎ 77
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops.
He must be in some extreme mist group.
π︎ 129
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.
It just doesnβt make any cents.
π︎ 26
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︎ Nov 27 2020
To get to the time machine.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
A sketchy looking guy rented six smoke machines from my shop, so I called the cops.
He must be part of some extreme mist group.
π︎ 603
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︎ Sep 15 2020
I canβt believe I wasted all my time trying to help rearrange the vending machines at my local grocery store...
Iβve been moving them around all day but they still say they are βOut of Orderβ
π︎ 51
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︎ Oct 22 2020
I bought a coin machine yesterday and I can't figure out how it works
It literally makes no sense
π︎ 92
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
I added water to our bread machine
I donβt know if it worked, but it kneaded it.
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Recently, Iβve been building a car made from old washing machine parts
Iβm going to take it out a spin tomorrow
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 21 2020
The machine
π︎ 23
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I can't stop taking money out of every cash machine I walk past...
Doctor has diagnosed I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
π︎ 21
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︎ Nov 06 2020
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
Itβs our family hair loom.
π︎ 76
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︎ Oct 15 2020
I accidently dropped grandma's ashes into my fog machine.
π︎ 53
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Why did the ice cream machine need money?
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 28 2020
So, I bought a coin minting machine on eBay for $10...
But the thing only makes pennies. I understand now why it was so cheap.
It makes cents
π︎ 27
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Among all the machines, the pulley is the most egotistical.
Itβs always at the centre of a tension.
π︎ 925
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︎ Jul 09 2020
When the mystery machine gets a flat tire who has to change it?
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 26 2020
It's too bad about the guy that overreacted after falling into a lens-making machine.
He truly made a spectacle of himself.
π︎ 19
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︎ Sep 17 2020
I hooked up a spooky mind control device to a windowblind making machine
Just thinking about it makes me shutter
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 20 2020
I still don't understand cloning machines
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Why did the machine gunner keep missing his targets?
He suffered from turret syndrome.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Dogs canβt operate MRI machines.
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 14 2020
Hereβs a Spanish joke: Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
What does a soda machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?
They both say "insert bill here."
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a βbaby poopβ setting.
Itβs called βHeavy Doody.β
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Coin making machines are really easy to understand. It just makes cents.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
What did the nun say as she sat down at the sewing machine?
This could be habit forming.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?
He wanted his quarter back.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
I have absolutely no idea what a cloning machine does!
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
My wife keeps calling me a simple machine.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
What does a Greek machine need to work?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
If Hugh Hefner had a noise machine, which noises would he listen to?
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 03 2020
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I havenβt seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?
Wow! Those are some fine lookinβ threads, brotha!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
Why does Robert Plant never spend any money at snack machines?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
The US Postal Service doesn't have enough machines to differentiate the mail.
They're all out of sorts.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
I decided to invent a time machine you wear like a belt
It turned out to be a complete waist of time
π︎ 61
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
Did you hear about that guy who fell into the reupholstery machine?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
Why does my coin minting machine have to be broken...
It just doesn't make cents
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
My friend composes songs about sewing machines
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
My mate composes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, sew it seams.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
My friend composes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams...
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
Every machine in the coin factory stopped working
It just doesn't make any cents!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
I write songs about sewing machines !
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
Dogs canβt operate MRI machines.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
Out of all the machines, the pulley is the most egotistical.
Itβs always the centre of a tension.
π︎ 65
π
︎ May 26 2020
The pulley is the most egotistical of all machines.
Itβs always the centre of a tension.
π︎ 202
π
︎ Apr 09 2020
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