Fleeced Puns

He's still on the lamb.

"One is something you wear to keep you warm, the other is something dogs have."

She likes coming to a theater near ewe.

Told my boss that we were lucky to be in the presence of not one, but two versions of Old Gloria.

My sister just bought a sweatshirt and looked at the tag and saw it was made with Canadian fleece. She asked, "Canadian fleece? What does that even mean?"

I replied, "well there's American and Canadian fleece... one is about 500 thread count, the other is a-boat 500 thread count.

She wasn't happy.

Fleece Navy Dad

May he rest in fleece.

One of the classic  Abbott and Costello  routines, where Bud Abbott takes advantage of a common math mistake that we all make to fleece his pal, Lou Costello, out of all of his money.  The skit ends with a simple ‘read my mind’ routine that takes Lou’s last remaining bill.  This routine was done  many  times, both in the movies and their radio show.

Bud Abbott: Do me a favor, loan me $50.
Lou Costello: Bud, I can’t. I can’t loan you $50.
Bud Abbott: Oh, yes, ya can.
Lou Costello: No, I can’t. All I got is $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, give me the $40 and you’ll owe me 10  
Lou Costello: Ok, I’ll owe you 10.
Bud Abbott: That’s right.
Lou Costello: How come I owe you 10?
Bud Abbott: How much did I ask for?
Lou Costello: 50
Bud Abbott: How much did you give me?
Lou Costello: 40.
Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10.
Lou Costello: That’s right.  [Pause] But you owe me 40.
Bud Abbott: Don’t change the subject.
Lou Costello: I’m not changing the subject; you’re trying to change my finances. Come on, Abbott give me my $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, there’s your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me.
Lou Costello: I’m paying you on account.
Bud Abbott: On account?
Lou Costello: On account I don’t know how I owe it to ya.
Bud Abbott: That’s the way you feel about it, that’s the last time I ask you for a loan of $50.
Lou Costello: But how can I loan ya $50, now. All I got is 30.
Bud Abbott: Well, give me the 30 and you’ll owe me 20.
Lou Costello: Ok. This is getting worse all the time. (Look at audience) First I owe him 10, now I owe him 20.
Bud Abbott: Well, why do you run yourself into debt?
Lou Costello: I’m not running in, you’re pushing me!1
Bud Abbott: I can’t help it if you can’t handle your finances. I do all right with my money.
Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too.
Bud Abbott: Now I asked you for a loan of $50. You gave me 30, so you owe me 20. 20 and 30 is 50.
Lou Costello: No. No. No. 25 and 25 is 50.
Bud Abbott: All right, here’s your $30, now give me the 20 you owe me. Fine guy, won’t loan a pal $50.

A fleece Navidad.

The menu says "eat, drink, and feel Merry"

Dad says "and then Mary got mad and went home"

Hehehehehehe

Fleece navidad!

To all you Mexican sheep out there. Fleece Navidad

Fleece Navidad.

I walked by a nativity scene yesterday and the sheep told me, "Fleece Navidad".

Fleece Navidad

Teacher: "I sheared a sheep once," Student: "Oh, How'd it go?" Teacher: "It went: 'Baa' and it's fleece came off! Student: "Man, that was Ba-aa-d!"

groans

Fleece Navidad