Hey, anyone know any good Sword fighting puns ? Trying to think of any
.. words with a dual meaning.
It’s kind of sad that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
If your ever in a sword fight, try to chop their feet off
Then you will de-feet him
What happens when you fight a dinosaur?
I recently finished fire fighting school
It’s where I got my first degree
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
Never challenge the grim reaper to a pillow fight....
Unless you’re ready for the reaper cushions!
If two vegans get in a fight...
... is it still considered a beef?
Were they really fighting?
Or were they just Joshing around?
Boxers don’t have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
I got into a fight with a guy who had a lazy eye
I just didn't like the way he was looking at me
I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...
A mime broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested,
He still has the right to remain silent.
Q: what was it like to fight Medusa?
A: At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
Why shouldn’t you ever fight a dinosaur?
You’ll just get Jurasskicked.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet?
I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.
What do you call a cat who walks funny but can win any fight?
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says
I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9
The odds were against me.
What do you call it when one owl samurai wins a fight with another owl samurai?
What do you call a venue designed for food fights?
An all you can yeet buffet.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot
Why did the torn piece of paper beat the regular piece of paper in a fight
Did you hear about the guy that lost a fight by getting kicked in the mouth?
He now knows the taste of defeet
How did the octopus beat a shark in a fight??
I got into a fight with my Mexican neighbor and he started to make train noises while holding a gun
He said "I'm going to choo choo"
I saw two snails fighting the other day.
They were really slugging it out.
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.
My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"
She then left the room, cackling.
What did the man say during the fight scene in the Lion King?
“Pay attention, I think this may be the mane event!”
Why don't professional boxers have sex before a fight ?
Thy probably don't like each other.
What did the gardener say to the two men who were fighting?
Did you hear about the fight between 2019 and 2020?
What did the Queen Bee say to the worker bees who were fighting?
She asked them to bee-hive
I got into a fight with my feet but...
Saw two members of a string section of an orchestra get in a fight...
They should know violins is never the answer..
What do you get when David fights Robin hood?
2020 and 2021 were fighting for the "Worst Year Ever" award.
Never Challenge Death to a Pillow fight.....
...Unless you are prepared for the Reaper Cushions.
Never start a fight with a dinosaur
2019 and 2020 got into a fight.
Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9
The odds were not in my favor
Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9
The odds were not in my favor
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