What's a ferrets favorite ride at the carnival?

The ferret-wheel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtobin95
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Philosophical Ferret. I think, there Ferret I am.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoncesMom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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I own 2 ferrets, so I guess that makes me a small business owner.

2 hobs, if anyone is interested.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THIEVINGKNIGHT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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Did you know a group of ferrets is called a "business"?

Because I just bought 3 ferrets just so I could call myself a small business owner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ezgc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2014
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What’s a weasels favourite ride at the fun fair?

The Ferrets Wheel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stiltonfondu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottvalentine808
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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What’s green, has four legs, and is deadly when it jumps on you?

A billiards table

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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So horrible. I love it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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Where'd he keep the weasel
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatrixML
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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Pun pet names.

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clixer712
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Will Ferrett
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditDragon9731
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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"Don't talk to the liard, kids!"

So, I'm new to this subreddit, so please don't berate me for posting a story instead of a joke ;-;

Anyways, my friend came over to my house for a 2 day sleepover a few weeks ago, and during the sleepover, we went to Petco to buy some stuff for my ferret. While we were there, we just kept gossiping about how cute all the animals there were. There were parrots, other ferrets, turtles, fish, a cat, and lizards.

When we were checking out the lizards, my dad immediately started to warn us about them...

"Don't talk to the lizard, kids! It might want to sell you car insurance! It'll only take 15 minutes or less!"

Gosh, I love my dad XD

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuskiePupper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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My dad pulled this one out on the way to work.

I just started a job this week and I have been getting my access set up through IT.

Stepmom: So FerretAres, was the IT person a man or a woman.

Me: I don't know it was an e-mail.

Dad: Well then it must have been a guy, otherwise it would have been an e-female.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FerretAres
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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This guy must be one cool dad.

Edit: here's the image, if you want.

>/u/13thmurder: >I work with liquid nitrogen all day. Being splashed with it like that wouldn't actually hurt at all. You'd need to be hit by a constant stream of it to cause any damage, or pour it in your shoes or something. Prolonged contact does damage. Momentary contact does nothing.

>>/u/shagmyballs:

>>What kind of job requires this?

>>>/u/Bubonic_Ferret:

>>>A cool one.

Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1ypcvn/acid_in_the_face/cfmoecc

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mollyfied
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
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