Happy Fatherβs Day
As a child I donβt think fathers realize how much we love and appreciate them and wanted to share it, even though this isnβt a joke.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Hey sweetie I want a new knife for fathers day. I'd use this one..
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︎ Sep 29 2020
One day, a father was washing a car with his son...
The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"
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︎ Aug 04 2020
Figured this was the ideal moment to repost this olβ pun. Happy Fatherβs Day.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I like celebrating Fathers' Day, but I'm not a dad.
I guess I'm just a faux pas.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
My son asked me, "How come there is a Father's Day, but not a Son Day?"
I replied, "Hey, there is a Son Day every week!"
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Dad: Hey, donβt forgetβ tomorrow is Fatherβs Day.
Me: Donβt forget its son day too.
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︎ Jun 20 2020
Just a reminder, Fatherβs Day is Sunday.
Not this Sunday, but it is on a Sunday this year!
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Kids got me an Old-school Chemistry set for Father's Day...
... Totally in my Element.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
21st June 2020 lies on Sunday, which is also Father's Day, but since we have Solar Eclipse on that day, it's actually Sun-day.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
What do you get when you cross Father's Day with Cake day?
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︎ Jun 22 2020
On Father's Day, I thanked my dad for his contribution to my birth.
He said it was his pleasure.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
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︎ Jun 22 2020
My son on Father's Day says...
"You know, if they had a bunch of different fruits from around the universe and made it into a jam they would call it a Space Jam."
I'm so damn proud of him.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
(In honor of Father's Day) At the start of every day my Dad tells us he's going running, and then he doesn't.
It's a running joke.
Happy Father's Day to all Dads that make us laugh with their ridiculous jokes!
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Watching Rogue One with my 8 year old on Fatherβs Day
When Vader is force choking Orson Krennic and says, βDonβt choke on your ambitions.β
My son looked at my and said, βHa Ha! Dad joke!β
So proud.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
Happy Fatherβs Day!
To all the dads out there; may your dad jokes grow prosper, make your children facepalm, and cause your partner want to pull your hair out
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︎ Jun 21 2020
What's the problem with Father's day?
It always falls on Son-day
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︎ Jun 17 2020
Happy Father's Day applies to all humans and animals as well. But apparently it doesn't matter to elephants.
For them, it's irrelephant.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Happy Fatherβs Day to all you dad jokers
A horse walks into a bar, bartender says to the horse βwhatβs with the long faceβ
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︎ Jun 20 2020
In what country do they wake all the dads early on Fatherβs Day?
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︎ Jun 21 2020
In honor of my father for Fatherβs Day, Iβm going to tack you back to the 1990βs. This is rural southern America please read in southern accent.
Me: Daddy Iβm thirsty!
My dad: Hi thirsty Iβm Fridy lets go Saturdy and get a Sundy.
Iβm sure itβs not original but it makes me laugh to think of how I was making my dad insane asking for a DRIIINNNKKK and he would always come back with this.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
I just called my grandpa for Fathers Day. He told me this silly Corona Virus joke.
Grandpa: Are you being safe with this Corona Virus issue?
Me: of coarse!
Grandpa: Very good, make sure you always have a mask on outside and carry a bunch of sand with you!
Me: I always have a mask on but why do I need sand?
Grandpa: You didn't hear about the sand? Its very effective! Wherever you suspect the virus is hiding, you grab a handful of sand and throw the sand at it to stone the virus to death!
I love my grandpa lol made me laugh
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︎ Jun 21 2020
If you think your father's day present sucked
Wait till to hear what Matt Gaetz got!
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Fatherβs Day
It seems to have been a really long day this year
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Motherβs and Fatherβs day only happens once every year
But Son day happens once every week
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︎ May 11 2020
For father's day breakfast, my daughter promised she'd make pancakes. Then she said she wouldn't. Then she said she would. Then she said she wouldn't.
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︎ Jan 24 2020
My father had this incredible catch phrase that left me and my brothers speechless for hours every day
The phrase was: "good night"
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︎ Feb 16 2020
I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"
"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."
When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk. "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"
"I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."
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︎ Oct 18 2019
Today I wished my dad a Happy Fatherβs Day.
His response: βThanks son. I couldnβt have done it without you!β
Happy Fatherβs Day!!
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︎ Jun 16 2019
Only once a year there's Mother's Day and Father's Day, ...
... but every week there's a sunday.
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︎ Dec 19 2019
My father shaved his head the other day because of his receding hairline
Pretty bald move if you ask me
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︎ Dec 18 2019
Happy Fatherβs Day, mother f**kers!
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︎ Jun 16 2019
Itβs Fathers Day in Finland! Does that mean I get to make unlimited dadjokes until midnight?
...when itβs officially Finnished?
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︎ Nov 10 2019
No joke I just miss my dad. Happy fathers day in heaven dad dad daddy-o
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︎ Jun 17 2018
You may think the best gifts are given on Mother's Day, but Father's Day is usually a tie.
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︎ Jun 13 2019
Father Day
It funny that Father day is actually on Sunday (Sonday). Happy Father day everyone.
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︎ Jun 16 2019
Day 28 of being a father. Am I considered a dad now?
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
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︎ Aug 11 2016
How did Vader know what Luke got him for father's day?
He could feel his presents.
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︎ Aug 15 2019
I got Dad joked for Fatherβs Day.
To start, Iβm a pretty big dude and sweat easily. At home, I have a big tower fan aimed at me 24/7. My wife hates the fan and itβs often a topic of βdiscussionβ.
This morning, my wife gave me the heads up that my 7 yo sonβs card was all his idea.
The card he made had a very detailed drawing of my tower fan on the front. I looked at it confusedly and opened it up to read:
βDad, you are FANtastic!β
Best Fatherβs Day ever.
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︎ Jun 17 2018
My dad said he wanted a new pair of wire strippers for Fatherβs Day.
When I asked what happened to the old ones he said β they decided it was time to go to wire collegeβ
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︎ Jun 17 2019
A Father's Day card your dad will truly appreciate
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︎ Jun 04 2016
Who called it Father's day and not Dadday?
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︎ Jun 16 2019
Fatherβs Day and Motherβs Day only happens once a year, and thatβs so unfair...
Son Day happens once a week.
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︎ Apr 09 2020
Unlike Fathers day, Son day is celebrated every week
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︎ Jun 20 2019
Dad: Hey, remember tomorrow is Fatherβs Day!
Me: Yeah, but itβs son day as well.
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︎ Jun 16 2019
Happy Father's Day all you mother f**kers out there!
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︎ Jun 16 2019
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