I was lost walking through a cemetery when I came upon a grave that looked familiar. I put my flowers on it and went to walk away.

A nearby man called out β€œHey! That’s my grandmothers grave! The person you’re looking for must be further down!” Startled and embarrassed I answered back β€œSorry! I’ve made a grave mistake!”

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GravyxNips
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
🚨︎ report
I've been enjoying the Olympics, but I'm not very familiar with certain events.

So for now I'll call it Robertsledding.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gideonindc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2022
🚨︎ report
Which US states is Japanese most familiar with?

Ohio

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vietlinh12hoa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a joke about sniper rifles, but im not very familiar with guns.

So i fear its beyond my scope.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
🚨︎ report
It's okay if you're not familiar with prefixes...

It's not the end of the word.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chasethesoundguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Most people are familiar with Tom Cruise a very well known actor. But not as many people are familiar with his brother Bomb.

He made the navy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mean-Mango-7125
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows Las Vegas is Sin City but are you familiar with Den City?

Mass over volume.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language

I don’t know why.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The Communist ....Party
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saxonez
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Are you familiar with Orion’s Belt?

... huge waste of space.

Sorry, that joke wasn’t very good... three stars.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife about a ballerina in a picture who looked familiar. She said it was Anna Pavlova.

I said I thought her face rang a bell.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M4sterofD1saster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows about Murphy's Law where anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but are you familiar with Cole's Law?

It's mostly made of cabbage.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amon-Re-72
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
No one will listen to White Snake with me

SO here I go again on my own

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wushock4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.

Operation Toot And Calm β€˜Em will last a week.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
If you notice a terrible smell that you're familiar with...

Did you reekognize it?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Are any of you guys familiar with fly fishing?

I hear you need a REALLY tiny hook to catch one.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGuyWithThePie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks the horse if he's an alcoholic because he's always there, and the horse replies, "I don't think I am." Then POOF! The horse disappears.

Some of you are giggling at this because you're familiar with the philosophical proposition of cogito ergo sum, or "I think, therefore I am."

I could have explained that beforehand, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxCWebster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
🚨︎ report
You guys are familiar with Freudian slips right?

It’s when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cananbaum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday

She lost her hearing.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeSayAye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
As a Catholic I don't feel familiar around mosques.

They just don't ring any bells.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koala_J
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Grandpa jokes are different than Dad jokes, but I think we're all familiar.

I was walking into the Dunkin Donuts this morning for some coffee and passed an older man as he was leaving.

"Sorry, they're all out of donuts!" he told me.

But like, they weren't out of donuts.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/apollo_loves_you
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2016
🚨︎ report
The T-Rex lumbered over the ridge and looked down at the numerous plant-eaters grazing in the lush, green valley. "This place is familiar," he said,

"I've eaten herbivore."

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyOatey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What would you call a familiar scent?

It’s nose-talgic.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sabredrako
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearfeedmitch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I felt a sense of familiarity when I got into my buddy's tan car but I've never ridden it before,

guess I got beigΓ©-Γ -vu!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vampirecookie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A judicious use of the board.
πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbor asked me if I recognized the mini statues in my front graden...

But I didn’t gnome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowblink
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes

But that’s Heinz sight

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
In my Neuroanatomy lecture today. Professor: "Are you familiar with the nucleus ambiguus?"

My loud response: "It's ambiguous!"

crickets

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HammerLite75
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2015
🚨︎ report
There were 30 students but only 28 chicken nuggets. How many kids didn’t get any nuggets?

Ten. Why? Because only twenty ate chicken nuggets.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Familiarity Breeds Contempt

My friend's family has a dog named Sugar. Her dad answered the door and I walked inside. Me: "Hey Sugar!" Her Dad: "Don't call me Sugar, I don't know you that well."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizza2004
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad lives in the town of Macomb Illinois, a lot of people aren't familiar with the location...

When people ask where to find Macomb he'll usually respond with 'in mapocket, next to mabrush' gets me every time.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smokesinquantity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
🚨︎ report
I worked with this guy Rob once...

...who was trying to hide he was bald. He damaged his hairpiece, not sure how, and was having a new one shipped to the office.

He was already kind of embarrassed and told us all, if you see a package for Peters (his last name) just put it on my desk. So I happen to be the one who sees it and as I'm bringing it to him my other coworker Paul asks what I have in my hands.

"Oh this?" I say, "this is Rob Peters' toupee, Paul."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JSNhova
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a relative who doesn't speak truth?

familiar.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasimesthiri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was walking down the street, I ran into a celebrity with a Mohawk and jewelry. He looked at me and said, β€œI piy the fool!”

I said, β€œHey, you missed a T.”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does Homelander ("superhero") have to be careful not to jostle his milk?

He knows milkshakes bring The Boys to the yard.

Hopefully you're familiar with the comic/show

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How do lawyers say goodbye ?

I'll be suing ya !

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I started a band called 999 megabytes.

We still haven't gotten a gig yet.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NonstopSuperguy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter will be a great dad someday

Last night, I tried to tell my 10 year old daughter the classic "Kangaroo walks into a bar" joke. For those who are not familiar, a version of this. I got to the point where the Kangaroo orders the first beer, and my daughter interrupted me with "let me guess - the beer wasn't hoppy enough." Nope. But I like the way she thinks!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeDC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Plague inc is a sick game
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesuscristIJB
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
One horse said to another:

Your pace is familiar but I don't remember the mane.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GobAteMyHamster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
2 fish are swimming and the bang into a wall.

One fish turns to another and says:

Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Need Help Identifying a Dad Joke

When going through some of my deceased father's things, I found a card that says "Gold Mouse Story" and "Do you have a little gold Mexican?". This is sort of a shorthand he used to jot down jokes on index cards - a short description and the punchline.

I have no idea what this might refer to so I am asking here. Does this sound familiar? I apologize in advance if it turns out to be racist!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fleurreddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.
πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm only familiar with 25 letters in the alphabet

I don't know why

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Notenoughspac363
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.
πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsaiaHarris03
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report

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