I was lost walking through a cemetery when I came upon a grave that looked familiar. I put my flowers on it and went to walk away.
A nearby man called out βHey! Thatβs my grandmothers grave! The person youβre looking for must be further down!β Startled and embarrassed I answered back βSorry! Iβve made a grave mistake!β
π︎ 54
π
︎ Jan 17 2022
I've been enjoying the Olympics, but I'm not very familiar with certain events.
So for now I'll call it Robertsledding.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 16 2022
Which US states is Japanese most familiar with?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 14 2021
I have a joke about sniper rifles, but im not very familiar with guns.
So i fear its beyond my scope.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 09 2021
It's okay if you're not familiar with prefixes...
It's not the end of the word.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 25 2021
Most people are familiar with Tom Cruise a very well known actor. But not as many people are familiar with his brother Bomb.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 18 2021
Everyone knows Las Vegas is Sin City but are you familiar with Den City?
π︎ 59
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
Iβm only familiar with 25 letters in the English language
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
The Communist ....Party
π︎ 3k
π
︎ May 18 2021
Are you familiar with Orionβs Belt?
... huge waste of space.
Sorry, that joke wasnβt very good... three stars.
π︎ 98
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
I asked my wife about a ballerina in a picture who looked familiar. She said it was Anna Pavlova.
I said I thought her face rang a bell.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Everyone knows about Murphy's Law where anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but are you familiar with Cole's Law?
It's mostly made of cabbage.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
No one will listen to White Snake with me
SO here I go again on my own
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
The Egyptian government has asked Cairoβs taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm βEm will last a week.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
If you notice a terrible smell that you're familiar with...
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 17 2020
Are any of you guys familiar with fly fishing?
I hear you need a REALLY tiny hook to catch one.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 31 2019
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks the horse if he's an alcoholic because he's always there, and the horse replies, "I don't think I am." Then POOF! The horse disappears.
Some of you are giggling at this because you're familiar with the philosophical proposition of cogito ergo sum, or "I think, therefore I am."
I could have explained that beforehand, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 30 2022
You guys are familiar with Freudian slips right?
Itβs when you say one thing, but mean your mother.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Feb 01 2019
The deaf girl didnβt show up to her court case yesterday
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
As a Catholic I don't feel familiar around mosques.
They just don't ring any bells.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 01 2019
Grandpa jokes are different than Dad jokes, but I think we're all familiar.
I was walking into the Dunkin Donuts this morning for some coffee and passed an older man as he was leaving.
"Sorry, they're all out of donuts!" he told me.
But like, they weren't out of donuts.
π︎ 80
π
︎ May 27 2016
The T-Rex lumbered over the ridge and looked down at the numerous plant-eaters grazing in the lush, green valley. "This place is familiar," he said,
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 30 2017
What would you call a familiar scent?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 24 2019
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
I felt a sense of familiarity when I got into my buddy's tan car but I've never ridden it before,
guess I got beigΓ©-Γ -vu!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 26 2019
A judicious use of the board.
π︎ 89
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
My neighbor asked me if I recognized the mini statues in my front graden...
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 20 2021
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes
π︎ 60
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
In my Neuroanatomy lecture today. Professor: "Are you familiar with the nucleus ambiguus?"
My loud response: "It's ambiguous!"
crickets
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 06 2015
There were 30 students but only 28 chicken nuggets. How many kids didnβt get any nuggets?
Ten. Why? Because only twenty ate chicken nuggets.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
Familiarity Breeds Contempt
My friend's family has a dog named Sugar. Her dad answered the door and I walked inside.
Me: "Hey Sugar!"
Her Dad: "Don't call me Sugar, I don't know you that well."
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 06 2014
My dad lives in the town of Macomb Illinois, a lot of people aren't familiar with the location...
When people ask where to find Macomb he'll usually respond with 'in mapocket, next to mabrush' gets me every time.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 25 2015
I worked with this guy Rob once...
...who was trying to hide he was bald. He damaged his hairpiece, not sure how, and was having a new one shipped to the office.
He was already kind of embarrassed and told us all, if you see a package for Peters (his last name) just put it on my desk. So I happen to be the one who sees it and as I'm bringing it to him my other coworker Paul asks what I have in my hands.
"Oh this?" I say, "this is Rob Peters' toupee, Paul."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
What do you call a relative who doesn't speak truth?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 17 2021
When I was walking down the street, I ran into a celebrity with a Mohawk and jewelry. He looked at me and said, βI piy the fool!β
I said, βHey, you missed a T.β
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jun 30 2018
Why does Homelander ("superhero") have to be careful not to jostle his milk?
He knows milkshakes bring The Boys to the yard.
Hopefully you're familiar with the comic/show
π︎ 31
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
How do lawyers say goodbye ?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
I started a band called 999 megabytes.
We still haven't gotten a gig yet.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Mar 14 2019
My daughter will be a great dad someday
Last night, I tried to tell my 10 year old daughter the classic "Kangaroo walks into a bar" joke. For those who are not familiar, a version of this. I got to the point where the Kangaroo orders the first beer, and my daughter interrupted me with "let me guess -
the beer wasn't hoppy enough." Nope. But I like the way she thinks!
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Aug 23 2017
Plague inc is a sick game
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 15 2018
One horse said to another:
Your pace is familiar but I don't remember the mane.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 23 2020
2 fish are swimming and the bang into a wall.
One fish turns to another and says:
Dam!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 27 2018
Need Help Identifying a Dad Joke
When going through some of my deceased father's things, I found a card that says "Gold Mouse Story" and "Do you have a little gold Mexican?". This is sort of a shorthand he used to jot down jokes on index cards - a short description and the punchline.
I have no idea what this might refer to so I am asking here. Does this sound familiar? I apologize in advance if it turns out to be racist!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
Iβm only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I donβt know why.
π︎ 194
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
I'm only familiar with 25 letters in the alphabet
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 30 2020
Iβm only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I donβt know why.
π︎ 87
π
︎ Dec 29 2017
I'm only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 20 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.