A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face...
The horse not being able to comprehend the language shits on the floor and leaves
What city in the Middle East doesn't require you to wear a face mask?
What did the monk say who saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine?
I can't believe it's not Buddha.
2 drunk guys getting into a fight. One gets up and draws a line on the ground. He says "you cross this line and I'll punch you in the face".
That was the punchline...
I woke up with semen on my face..
I don’t know what came over me
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,
"You've broken your hand."
My friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn’t afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
What you call a Ghost with face like Grandpa’s ?
I punched Santa in the face
He called my daughter a "ho". 3 times!!!
My daughter wanted to clean her cardboard rocketship with her face cloth...
Trying to reduce the enormous amount of laundry associated with kids,
I said, "you don't need to clean your rocketship. It's not dirty. Space is a vacuum"....
I could hear my wife's eyes roll in the next room. Success!
Cant weigh to see their face
I once saw a woman punch a Mall Santa in the face.
But he did call her a "ho" like three times.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, “Because I am feeling light headed.”
I saw a magistrate reading a novel, so I grabbed it and put it over his face.
He got very angry!!!
You shouldn't cover a judge by his book.
What does the invisible man have in the middle of his face?
My mathematician friend wants to get a tattoo of Pi on his face.
I said, “That’s irrational.”
Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.
I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, “If you cross this, I’ll hit you in the face.”
/r/Jokes/comments/jx9abu/…
I gave my Dad a jigsaw made from a picture of his face.
I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead.
I guess I’ll have to work my way up to it.
I just saw a couple guys in white face act like they were caught in a trap and can't walk out.
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
What did Donald Trumps bodyguard say just before someone sneezed in his face?
Are you required to wear a face mask and wear glasses?
You may be eligible for condensation.
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
If you get hit in the face, the home treatment is to hold a raw steak against it to reduce swelling...
...it does more than meats the eye.
Pooh's face in the last panel tho
I knew a guy who gave away his art but he only seemed to paint ducks with incomplete faces.
I asked about it once and he said “I like to bill them later.”
What do you call a polar bear that faces North and a polar bear that faces South?
A local supermarket was giving away 100% free face masks
But there were no strings attached.
I lined up everybody I ever wanted to punch in the face
And this is what I call a punch line
My 6yo holds a slice of red pepper up to my face and breaks it towards me. Me: “Ugh, what did you do that for. You got me all wet.”
“That was pepper spray.”
Got me!
What do you call it when you sneeze inside your face mask?
I told my barista I didn't think he should be wearing a face mask. 'I'm not', he said,...
Then I saw her face, now I'm
My girlfriend grabbed a hand full of coins and slapped me in the face.
About time she slapped some cents into me.
Studies have shown that sheepskin face masks are incredibly effective...
They keep the baahhhhhd germs out.
I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face ?
Why does your nose grow in the middle of your face?
It's not a face mask son....
Are you currently wearing a face mask and glasses to work?
You may be eligible for condensation.
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