What's Santa's favourite metal band?

Sleigher.

šŸ‘︎ 60
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šŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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I was shocked the other day when I thought I heard my girlfriend say she wanted to go and see The Monkees tribute band in Switzerland.

Then I saw her face - now Iā€™m in Geneva.

šŸ‘︎ 10
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/mightymudie
šŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Dads take on vegetable based rock bands

This is an older story, I think it was roughly 98 or 99. My little brother was getting into rock and was listening to Limp Biskit and Korn. He saved up some money to get a CD so my dad took him to Sam Goody. My little brother gets the newest hit record by Korn and brings it to the counter and check out. With my dad by his side, he places the record on the counter and the late nineties rocker chick, loaded up with tons of eye liner and hot topic wear working the cash register says "oh yeah! I love Korn, I know everything about them, I have all their records." Without a fucking second thought and the straightest face, my dad says "I guess that makes you a little corny."

šŸ‘︎ 4
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/LDdesign
šŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2015
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Dad joked the waitress

Waitress is taking our order.

Dad: I'd like a rubber band sandwich. And make it snappy.

šŸ‘︎ 698
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/greggersraymer
šŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2014
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I went to Lollapalooza....

I went to Lollapalooza last year, and there was an incident. I got into a fight with two of the biggest bands at the fest, and they were really kicking my butt. Fortunately, a few Kurdish doctors intervened and saved my life.

I guess it's true what they say: Styx and The Stones may break my bones, but Kurds will never hurt me.

šŸ‘︎ 50
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Saith_Cassus
šŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
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A horse is sitting at home watching MTV

A horse is sitting at home, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."

"There's just one problem," says the horse. "I'm a horse."

"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach horses. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."

Sure enough, the horse gets really good at the guitar and he can play that amazing solo. He wants to show his friends, so he picks up the phone and calls chicken.

"Hey Chicken, come over!" he says. Chicken comes over, watches horse play the guitar and thinks it's pretty cool. Chicken watches the music video and says "hey, that drum part is pretty cool, I want to learn to play that."

Chicken goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play the drums." Says the chicken.

"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."

"There's just one problem," says the chicken. "I'm a chicken."

"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach chickens. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."

Sure enough, the chicken gets really good and begins to jam with the horse. Eventually, they think that something's missing. They watch the video again and realize they need a bass guitarist. They call their friend Cow and show them what they've been up to. Cow thinks it's pretty cool, and wants to learn how to play the bass guitar.

Cow goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play bass guitar." Says the cow.

"Sure," says the man on the phone. "Just come to your lesson and we'll get you started."

"There's just one problem," says the cow. "I'm a cow."

"Not to worry," the man says. "We have new state of the art technology to teach cows. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."

Sure enough, the cow gets really good at the bass and the animals have a nice band going.

One day, while they're practicing, a man walks by and hears them. He goes up to the animals and says "hey, you guys are pretty good! I'm from a record label, I'd like to sign you!"

The band records an album, puts out some singles and becomes a massive success.

... keep reading on reddit āž”

šŸ‘︎ 10
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/GreatDekuTree3
šŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Embarrassed myself in class laughing at my friend's reaction to my top quality material

So today in my physiology lecture we were talking about muscles and we touched on connective tissue and our prof said something about "broad bands of connective tissue" and I turned to my friend next to me and go "If there's broad bands of connective tissue do you think there's Wi-Fi of connective tissue?". He just sighed and told me he was going to punch me before going back to writing his notes with a look of pure hatred on his face.

(I tried to contain my laughter to his reaction and ended up snorting really loudly like a minute later when I heard him snicker)

šŸ‘︎ 19
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/bca231
šŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2015
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First post. Figured I should probably post a dad joke.

When I was younger, I used to play in bands. I had a Dodge Daytona at the time, but wanted to sell it to buy a van for my band. Without skipping a beat, my father looks at me straight-faced and tells me, "You don't need a band van; you have a GUITAR CAR!"

Thanks, dad.

šŸ‘︎ 19
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šŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
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