Guys, I had a really exhausting day yesterday, filling in forms and calculating the surplus of money I had to pay to the country.

It was a taxing day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziWookie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Car puns are exhausting
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Being a parking enforcement officer has to be the most exhausting job out there.

It seems like there's always a lot to do.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmshady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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Fixing tail pipes is exhausting work
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what line of work is truly exhausting?

Muffler

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kroka4loka
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I showed up to my last job interview exhausted and stoned

I was hired

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DDD8712
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Exhausted and tired
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Feeling β€œexhausted” ? Have a seat !
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I sat on the toilet, angry, exhausted, and late for work.

I said to myself, β€œI don’t have time for this shit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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it was an emotional wedding...
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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People who run behind cars get exhausted.

But people who run in front of cars get tired.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes.

He’s a catholic converter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a pirate say when he takes his car into the garage with a dodgy exhaust.

" Aaaaarrrr.....she blows."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Wife: I’m exhausted. I was up until 4 AM with the baby.

Me: It’s probably not a good idea to keep a baby up that late.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Why was the gay man exhausted after a long day at the office?

Because he worked 9 hours straight.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.

Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A man installed on his car new brakes, bearings, crankshaft, tires and exhaust.

He took a break, he couldn't bear it.. he was cranky, tired and exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yakir13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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The architect of Big Ben must have been exhausted

They were working around the clock

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."

My first official dad joke.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaudiocomplex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Weird dream

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that I was a muffler and......I woke up exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BodaciousRaven
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I replaced my car's muffler today.

It was exhausting...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Confusius says:

Man runs after a car; he gets exhausted. Man runs in front of car; he gets tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZenMasterG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Just remembered a classic my brother-in-law dropped after my niece was born (A couple months ago)

My mother FaceTimed me so I could show her my sister and her baby

I went into my sister's room and said, "Hey mom wants to see you. Can you say a quick hello?"

Sister: Sure but just for a minute, I'm exhausted.

BIL, without dropping a beat: Hi exhausted, I'm a new dad!

Old but gold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/miserablefrosting
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend β€œWhy I have to change my position every time?”

He replies β€œI know, this sub is full of reposts”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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I'm exhausted. Just got back from the hospital

My girlfriend was really sick and the doctors said she urgently needed a blood transfusion. They asked me what her blood type was, but I had no idea. I frantically tracked my brain, trying to remember if she'd told me. She must have sensed my panic, because she looked up at me and with her final breath said, "Be positive. Be positive" She's right, though I will miss her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Confucius say

Man who chase car soon get exhausted

And man who try to outrun car soon get tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tito_Tito_1_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A terrorist tried to blow up a bus.....

But he burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Feeling β€œexhausted”?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iPierre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does my motorcycle keep falling asleep?

Because it's two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordTrollsworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Every morning I take a bike ride through the park at least twice no matter how exhausted I am...

I always push myself to recycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateking1000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m exhausted! When I get home from work I’m just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.

This evening’s definitely looking up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD_4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend called an said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...

Sounds like another case of the flue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was telling Dad jokes the entire night

He's exhausted now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate tailpipes.

They're exhausting.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/byebybuy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I asked my dad how he was feeling. He said β€˜like a car’

Tired

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I just got done writing my exhaustive dictionary of anatomy terms.

It's a significant body of work.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Chevy say to the Tesla?

I’m exhausted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D-B-Zzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..

..do you just get exhausted ?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
If you run in front of a car you get tired, if you run behind a car you get exhausted
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoreanTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Chase after a car you get exhausted

Run in front of a car you get tyred

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcloud555
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream I was making love to a muffler.

When I woke up I was so exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burt_Burglar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I had a dream last night I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quantity_Weary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Last night I dreamed I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Running in front of a car will get you tired, but...

Running behind a car will get you exhausted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frudedude
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report

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